★FitStars: Girls on the Run’s Molly Barker
November 4, 2009 by Jenn
Erin and I started FBG to make working out and eating right fun and accessible to women of all shapes and sizes, no matter where they were on their fitness journeys. FBG isn’t about being perfect, but about being real, laughing at yourself often and really enjoying a balanced and sane life. And we always thought that once we had a readership that was large enough to make a difference (and hence some funds to contribute) that we’d give back. Well, I’m happy to report that that day has come. It’s giveback time! You guys already know that I’m running the marathon for SoleMates to benefit Girls on the Run (GOTR), but we wanted to do a little bit more for the nonprofit after-school running program for young girls that uses running to transform the way girls see themselves and their opportunities. That’s why today’s FitStars interview is with Molly Barker, the founder of GOTR. Molly is totally inspiring. She’s a four-time Hawaii Ironman triathlete with expertise in counseling and research on adolescent issues. Her organization is truly changing the mindset of young girls and introducing them to the positive powers of running. The GOTR program combines training for a 5K event with life-changing self-esteem enhancing lessons that enhance social, physical and mental health in 8- to 12-year-old girls. It’s amazing. If you have a daughter this age, I highly recommend you see if there’s a GOTR chapter in your area. Read on to learn more about why Molly does what she does, her thoughts on the “boy box,” how she stays so motivated and what’s next for GOTR! (Plus, details on how we’re giving back with your help!)
- FBG: According to your bio, you got the idea to start GOTR during a sunset run in 1993. Where did you get the idea and how has it changed from that first spark?
- MB: At age 11, I stepped into the “Girl Box.” The Girl Box is a place many girls go, around middle school, where morphing into what they think they should be becomes more important than just celebrating who they are. For years, I struggled trying to conform to the standards and lifestyle defined by the Girl Box. At age 32, I hit bottom. On the following day, July 7, 1993, while out on a run, I had an epiphany. About mile four of that run, something dramatic happened. I felt complete, whole and “in-powered” and knew that from that step on, I would do everything in my power to help girls and women recognize and achieve their greatest human potential.
- FBG: How does GOTR help girls break out of the Girl Box?
- MB: The messages of the Girl Box vary, but the overarching theme comes from a culture rooted in the belief that girls and women must conform to a set of standards that are unattainable and dangerous to our health and well-being. “You’re not smart enough,” “You’re too smart,” “You’re not thin enough,” “You’re too fat,” “You’re too loud,” “You’re too quiet,” “You’re not pretty enough,” are a few of the more well-known Girl Box messages. Girls on the Run educates and inspires third- through eighth-grade girls to stay true to themselves—to discover a life free of the Girl Box, where they can say, “I AM enough and I belong just the way I am.”
- FBG: In GOTR, you obviously focus on running. Why running? And why is the 5K at the end of the program so critical?
- MB: For me, running is the sanctuary in my day, when I am free of any expectations or judgments. Running can serve many purposes. Time alone, time with friends, time to think, time to NOT think, time to train, time to relieve stress…the list is as long as there are runners! What I do know is, it represents something unique for every girl in our program…running has no meaning to her, until she gives it meaning. That’s what the curriculum provides for the girls. An opportunity to explore the Girl Box and give running meaning beyond competition or cardiovascular functioning. The end-of-season New Balance Girls on the Run 5K is the dot on the timelines of their lives to mark the experience and to provide for them a lasting memory…a memory they can engage the next time they are afraid, lack confidence or are challenged. “If I can do this 5K, just think of all the other amazing things I can do!”
- FBG: How has running and working out regularly changed your life? How has it affected your confidence?
- MB: My relationship with running has evolved over the years. In my teens, it was a space of self-discovery. I learned the capabilities of my body, a gentle understanding of how my breathing, pace and lifestyle were all connected. In my twenties it served as a vehicle to meet people…a social life. Running also provided for me a feeling of comfort and “power” in my skin. I liked the effect it had on my appearance and this provided for me the self-confidence I needed to navigate first jobs, new cities and the singles scene. In my thirties, I stepped “off track.” I was competing in Ironman-length competitions and I lost sight of the joy and found myself running from my problems rather than toward serenity. Running became a crutch rather than a strength. I could numb out on the endless hours of training. And now in my forties, my love for the sport is full-force. I run every other morning, before sunrise, listen to my feet scuffle through autumn leaves and feel grateful for my body, my age and the place to which running has carried me.
- FBG: Most of our readers are out of their teenage years, and many serve as role models for younger girls. If you could give our readers a few words of wisdom about what they can do for the younger generation, what would it be? Do mothers with daughters play a special role?
- MB: I think we all need to celebrate, honor and embrace our gifts. This includes speaking kindly about ourselves and others, avoiding gossip and verbal name-calling, and standing up for ourselves. Consider this question and then make a decision based upon your answer: Does this person/situation/circumstance honor, respect and elevate the ME of who I am…or does this person/situation/circumstance demean and limit the ME of who I am? Conversely, am I honoring, respecting and elevating the YOU in someone else? While I won’t always be “right on” with my response, this has been of great value in keeping me on center and true to myself.
- FBG: Here on FBG, we’re all about working out to feel better about ourselves no matter how big or small our fit bottoms are. How do you stay so balanced and focused when it comes to fitness, and do you ever have a day where you just don’t feel as fit as you’d like?
- MB: OH yeah. I travel quite a bit these days, and I’ll have to say, if I go three or more days without a good sweat I can start to get a little bit…oh, how shall I put it…mean. Even on the road, I try to hit the hotel fitness center. Thirty minutes is all it takes now and then to keep me motivated and “upbeat” for my day!
- FBG: GOTR obviously focuses on girls, but do you think that boys can get stuck in the “Boy Box?” Do you talk to your son about the same issues you address in GOTR?
- MB: Absolutely! Boys AND men definitely have their boxes. I do believe they are different. Boys’ stature in the world is based on material success, athletic prowess and sexual conquests. As with my daughter, I want both of my children to get past the value we place on external measures and celebrate, honor and respect people for the gifts and talents they provide in this world.
- FBG: Anything new in the works for GOTR? For you?
- MB: I’m currently re-writing our curriculum. It is important that we remain relevant to the girls we serve!
- FBG: What are your favorite forms of exercise?
- MB: Running, cycling, weight lifting.
- FBG: Any final words of advice for our readers?
- MB: Based on the fact that I am 49 years old, my sixth-grade daughter Helen, is getting a huge kick out of the fact that I am being interviewed by ANYTHING with “fit bottom” in the title. She isn’t sure whether to laugh out loud or be embarrassed by it. Ahhh, the angst of adolescence and having a “fit bottomed” mother.
Helen, be proud! Your mom is awesome! And because we so believe in this program, we’re donating $1 for every comment—up to $500—on this post. So comment away, dear readers! It’s for a good cause!!! —Jenn
Update: A big thanks to New Balance for offering to MATCH our contribution, making each comment worth not just $1 but $2! Girls on the Run is nationally sponsored by New Balance, Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes, Secret and Goody, and SoleMates is sponsored by Horizon Fitness.
Thank you
this is an incredible organization – thanks for supporting them
I got involved with GOTR with my daughter and then became a coach! I love the program and the feedback and enthusiasm from my team. I have also met a wonderful group of women who inspire me everyday to be a better mentor for all girls!
That’s awesome!
I love GOTR. I can’t wait for my daughter to be old enough to participate at her school!
Thank you! What an amazing organization. And Merry Christmas!
What a great organization. Because I started running as a girl (in the 70s, when it wasn’t that popular to do), I’m still athletic and fit today. Thanks so much!
What a great thing to do!
Molly has inspired so many girls and women…as well as boys and men! Everyone can learn from the GOTR lessons. The most important ones are to be yourself….. and be honest with everyone. To Molly and all the GOTR volunteers and staff — Keep up your awesome work!
I have been a coach for GOTR for 2 years and just finished my first Solemates experience. This is such a great program. My daughter will be old enough to participate next year…I can’t wait!!
GOTR is an amazing program and I love being a part of it in GOTR-Nashville. Jen, director of Nashville council, is an inspiring lady.
I’ve coached with GOTR for 2 seasons and I must admit that I get something positive out of each and every session. Even adult girls need reminders that WE BELONG JUST AS WE ARE. GOTR rocks!
What a great role model she is!
Awesome! You go girls!
Thanks!!
Great idea!!!
I had not previously heard of GOTR, but it sounds like a great program!
great cause!
A truly amazing organization. I was lucky enough to be able to volunteer with the Manhattan chapter during their 5k event!
Excellent idea!
Awesome organization!
Thanks!
This is such a great program! Girls, you ARE awesome!
This is so great! Good luck with the fundraising!
I just ran my first Girls on the Run race as a running buddy in Tampa, FL! Great experience!
Awesome.
Wonderful interview — thank you!
Love, love the cause
happy new year!!
Great interview, great cause!
Great cause. Happy New Year!
Great job!
Girls on the Run is a great program. I’ve been involved with coaching and raising money through Team Tiara over the past couple of years. I’ve loved sharing my joy of running with young girls.
Good for you!
Thanks for inspiring others and encouraging a healthier world!
I love coaching for GOTR. Great interview!
What an amazing organization! ALL girls can benefit from something like this. Happy New Year and keep up the great work!
I have coached GOTR for three seasons. I am also a teacher at the school where it is run. I have seen the program change the lives of many girls. It has also changed mine. I went from never running to now completing my first half marathon. Thank you Molly Barker!
Thanks!
What an awesome program!
Molly had created a movement!! I have been involved with GOTR for the past 5 years and it has had an enormous effect on my life. Watching the girls thrive emotionally and physically never tires each season. The faces of the girls at the finish line are beyond words. As one of our coaches said: The girls stand taller, laugh louder, say no when they mean no and yes when they mean yes, and of course run or walk faster.
This sounds like a great organization!
I can’t believe I’m just now seeing this! I’m posting on GOTR Atlanta’s blog tomorrow first thing! Thanks so much for your support!!!
What a fantastic idea and what a great cause!
Good job Girls on the Run! Keep up the good work!!!
Awesome! GOTR is such an amazing organization. Thanks for supporting it!!!
Thank you for supporting the GOTR mission!!
What a great program! I’ve read articles by Kristin Armstrong about it, but I loved hearing the background about how it got started. As I enter my mid-thirties I am still trying to focus my passion on something I can actually do. My husband has pointed out that I’m at my happiest when I am helping others. I just completed coaching a running club at our local youth center that culminated in a 5K this morning. I loved seeing the kids faces and hearing how proud they were of themselves. I need to figure out how I can find a position (even as a volunteer) where I can work with kids on being mentally, emotionally, and physically strong. Thanks for the inspiration! Amy
I found out about GOTR a few months ago and vowed that if I ever move to a place with an active chapter, I’d get involved ASAP. That might be happening this year!
I love being a GOTR running buddy! I wish this type of program was around when I entered the “Girl Box”