Upside Down Gets Me Feeling Inside Out

My goal: to be as comfortably happy as these three are in this position! Credit: lululemon athletica

Remember how I had to work a bit to conquer my fear of heights by climbing the rope at the Fit Pit? But that once I did, it was awesome—empowering and so motivational? Well, I have a new “rope” to climb and her name is the unmodified handstand push-up.

Okay, the “push-up” part I’m not even quite ready for. (One thing at a time, people…) But the “handstand” part is definitely something I’m working on. And something that I’m fairly fearful of. It may seem silly, but for me, kicking my feet up and over my head and then placing them up and onto a wall feels like my fear of heights turned upside down. It’s like I’m up high and upside down—and it freaks me the heck out. The gym has really high ceilings (hence the rope climbing), which only heightens my irrational feeling of being too high for my own good.

Last year, for the Throwdown, we had to do some handstand push-ups in one of the workouts. For that, I didn’t even try to flip up and onto the wall; I simply walked my feet up the wall to an angle that didn’t freak me out and modified the move so that I was facing the wall (kind of like a downward dog with your feet on the wall). But this year? Well, it’s something I’d like to do. It’s a fear I’d like to conquer.

Fears have a way of eating at you. They hold you back. They make you think you can’t or shouldn’t do something. But the fact is, once you face them—whether it’s all at once or in itty bitty steps—they seem to disappear. Now, even though I still get a bit shaky at the top of the rope, I love doing it because I can. AND DID. And this handstand push-up thing? Well, it’s time for me to face that fear, too.

So a few times a week after the workout of the day, Ryan and I are taking a few minutes to practice kicking up and getting more comfortable in a handstand position. (For the record, he doesn’t have my weird fear thing—just wants to build up strength for it and is awesomely supportive.) Once I’m able to kick up and hold it on my own for a bit, I’ll start working on adding that push-up for the full deal.

You guys know that you’ll be the first to know when I do my first handstand push-up, but tell me: anything you’re afraid of at the gym? What steps can you take to overcome it? We can do it! —Jenn