From Kristen

FBG Kristen’s Letter to Dudes Everywhere: Here’s What FBGs Really Want

If I’m not paying you to be my personal trainer, you’re NOT MY PERSONAL TRAINER. Make sense? Credit: Melbourne Personal Trainers

Remember how last year Gal Josefsberg wrote this amazingly inspiring letter to women of the world telling us all that we are perfect as we are? Well, this year for Fit Bottomed Dude’s Week we’re taking that concept and flipping it. Every day this week each FBG will share her very own personal letter to the guys of the world.

Dear Men of the World,

I know you think that it’s hard to figure out what women want, and what they find sexy. But after chatting with a few of my girlfriends, I think I can offer you at least one simple rule to follow. Confidence is super sexy. Overconfidence? Total turnoff.

Despite the immortal words of one Travis Birkenstock from Clueless, we don’t actually need you to do crazy bad-ass scary stuff to impress us. I’m going to echo a bit of what the other FBGs have said—we aren’t likely to fawn over the fact that you can bench press a car, but we are going to think it’s pretty cool that you have some healthy habits that work for you, and that you make time to do them.

That being said, remember, what works for you doesn’t necessarily work for us. We’re open to discussing changes in our workouts or diets, but unless you’re actually our trainer or nutritionist? You’re not our trainer or nutritionist. We might be ladies, but we know more about nutrition than how to cut calories. Trust us.

And, you know, you might not be so sure about some of the things we do, but remember, our workouts aren’t just about getting a bikini body—they’re about how we feel. My friend Kerri said it best:

“You’re not the only one who is worried (and thanks for letting me know) that my shoulders may get big from doing all of these overhead presses and pull-ups. I may look a little manly. But if my options are to look a little manly or be a weak little girl, I will take the former. You should encourage our endurance and workout efforts; they will pay off in dividends regarding how we feel about our naked selves and our willingness to go eat cheeseburgers and drink beer.”

Oh, and let’s go back to Clueless for a second. You know how you get a kick out of it when we can rattle off random basketball facts or quotes from Die Hard? We think it’s pretty awesome when you can quote (or at least recognize quotes from) our favorite stuff. Some of those chick flicks are straight-up good movies, so long as you check the macho ‘tude.

So, be confident, be encouraging, and I’ll be there for the post-workout beer. 


(And, ladies, feel free to add your thoughts or additions to this letter in the comments!)


  1. says

    Great blog. And I add that we probably won’t get to look manly as it is more in our genes to be toned than look like a body builder, even when we do a lot of weight lifting lol.

  2. says

    Great article – for me, the “be encouraging” part needs to be hammered into the heads of some of the guys I’ve been involved with.

    There’s a big difference between an encouraging comment and being critical. Why don’t they get that?

    I hope this article will reach a whole bunch of dudes to give them a bit of a clue! I’m sure going to tweet it out :)

  3. says

    It can be a fine line between confidence and overconfidence . . . not sure if that helps. Then again I do not think it will ever be easy to figure out women. I need to get the cliff notes on the chick flicks, not sure if I can sit through one :)

  4. says

    Being confident vs over confident is an area most men do not understand. I only gained true confidence over time through different experiences. Until I did, I was an over confident jerk and found you are correct about it being a major turnoff to most women. Most young guys really struggle with this and unfortunately, some older ones as well.
    Great article every man should read!

  5. Cari says

    I like how this article hits on how we feel about ourselves. Men aside, I sometimes get self conscious because I have broad swimmer shoulders but you better bet I am proud I can do more push ups than half the guys I meet! Advertisements (at least athletic) are finally showing women with some muscle. We should be proud of it!

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