The Appetite Always Wins

Right now, I’m six or so weeks postpartum. I think I’ve got about 15 or 20 pounds to lose — although I’m not sure because I’m avoiding the scale. (You’ll see why in a minute.) Getting my post-baby body back has been about No. 2,309 on my list of priorities. The top five priorities are as follows:

1. Keeping up with my two other kids.

2. Working when I have a spare moment.

3. Laundry.

4. Sitting on the couch breastfeeding.

5. Taking in enough calories so that I’m not ravenous.

The order of those priorities changes depending on whether my kids are at school, how much laundry is piled up, how behind I am at work, how hungry my daughter is and how much my stomach is growling. But nowhere near that top 10 is lose weight.

Sure, I think about losing the weight. I think about how it would be nice to fit into more than one pair of jeans. I think about how I would like to actually do a more substantial workout that isn’t focused only on my upper body. But at the moment I’m following doctor’s orders to hold off working out until I’m pain-free, and I’m SO HUNGRY. Yes, breastfeeding burns a lot of calories. But it also makes you a ravenous beast. It’s funny when you want to lose a little bit of weight and you know in your brain how that’s going to go down. Move more. Eat less. Everything in moderation. Listen to your hunger. But my hunger, at the moment, is telling me to EAT ALL THE FOOD. And who am I to tell my hunger no?

I compare it to when you’re training for an endurance event. You’d think you’d lose weight, but you don’t always because all of the running and calorie burn makes you super hungry. But one thing I can do? Eat a little bit healthier because, I’ll be totally honest: I’m not always eating the healthiest fare. I know weight will come off more easily if I stop baking brownies — because they are a tempting snack and I don’t have the willpower at the moment to turn them down when my stomach is actively growling. And I need to, for the love of all that is deliciously holy, stop bringing Vanilla Chex into the house because I cannot stop at one bowl, and it’s really hard to stop at two bowls. That stuff is like crack.

So I’m following the anti-diet advice. Doing what I can on the exercise front; eating lots of fresh foods. And while I probably won’t quit brownies or Vanilla Chex altogether, I’m going to try to steer my snacks in a slightly healthier direction. Or at least, you know, avoid eating two bowls of Chex AND two brownies on any given day! Because that has happened …

What foods can you not quit? Anyone else need to join Brownies and Chex Lovers Anonymous? —Erin