Let’s go back. Waaay back. To a time when neon pink, blue and orange were H-O-T and when Miami Vice-ish palm trees were all the rage in decorating. To a time when leotards and big scrunched-up socks were considered haute couture. To a time when Karen Voight filmed the Great Weighted Workout. Welcome to 1990.

I love Kathy Smith. Her Rules of Fat Burning DVD is one of my staples. It has great mix-and-match cardio and strength, and if you’ve got 17 minutes, you can fit in one hell of a jump rope workout. We’ve got an awesome Q&A with Kathy coming up tomorrow, so I thought in her honor, I’d go back and review one of her oldies. I found the oldest DVD of hers that I could on Netflix—a combo video of three workouts from the 80s and 90s.

If you have Netflix, go put Kathy Smith: Strong, Sleek & Slim in your queue. Now. I’ll wait.

Done?

You won’t be disappointed. This video blew my mind; it is fabulous on so many levels. First, the retro aspect of it is like nothing you’ve ever seen before, and I can’t do every facet justice in the written word. But even in the face of 80s video technology, wardrobes and sets, the workout is sweat inducing and the aerobics are easy to follow. It also made me thankful that wearing pantyhose while working out is no longer fashionable. Be warned: The workouts are long, and none clock in less than an hour.

Weight Loss Workout
This workout is mostly aerobics based but does add in some strength moves. Starting out in a warehouse setting, you do basic aerobics moves before flashing to a pink-carpeted studio to complete the warm-up. After picking up light weights, you work the arms, shoulders and chest/back while also getting cardio because you move a lot. The meat of the DVD is heavy on cardio, and each cardio segment switches it up with theme changes (beach party is one) and even different lighting. The aerobics here include lots of knee lifts, side-to-side moves and grapevines. The add-a-move is a staple, as well as moves that fit the particular theme of the segment. After the cardio, you get into leg strength work with weights, including lunges and leg lifts, before cooling it down with basic stretches at the end. A portion on healthy eating at the end is a good reminder about how to eat right.
Highlight: A 50s-themed segment complete with skirts and a dance-off style dance tunnel.

Ultimate Video Workout
This workout, circa 1984, is awesomely dated with its studio with cut-out skylines in the backdrop and its “foot lookin’” portion, which shows how your feet should look as they’re doing the moves. It’s basically everything awesome, 80s and aerobics in this one segment. Highlights include layered socks, moves that remind me of the “robot,” and can-can kicking, which was tough. Fantastic changing formations attempt to distract from the fact that you’ve been jumping up and down and doing jumping side lunges for several minutes straight. It’s like jumping rope but more entertaining to watch. Arm work using your own resistance made me burn, as did the thigh and ab floorwork.
Highlight: An outdoor parking lot shoot with fans sitting on hoods of cars clapping and feigning the moves while the stars do add-on moves, including my fave, “space arms,” a kooky over-the-head arm move you just have to see for yourself.

Ultimate Stomach and Thighs Workout
This segment is definitely “ultimate” if that means it lasts an eternity. If you do it, break up the abs and thighs unless you have about 85 minutes, although Kathy does talk for about 8 minutes at the start of the video. The ab work is broken up into the foundation, which is heavy on the basics and form; the workout, which includes reverse crunches and oblique crunches; and the challenge, which is more difficult versions of the basic moves and will fatigue your mid-section into oblivion.

The thigh segment consisted of both thigh and butt floorwork, which I haven’t done in awhile, so I was feeling it because I tried to rock it with the advanced moves even though they showed modifications for beginner and intermediate levels. Standing work also targeted the buns, and there were plenty of leg lifts, squats and lunges.
Highlight: Gym bags on the floor as decoration made me giggle.

Jane Fonda is an icon. Besides winning an Oscar and a couple Golden Globes, this mega star is credited with starting the aerobics fitness craze in the 80s with her cleverly titled Jane Fonda’s Workout Book and following workout VHS tape Jane Fonda’s Workout. Her workout VHS is said, according to our official sources (aka Wikipedia), to have sold more than 17 million copies, making it the most popular home video EVER. Dang. Her tapes were so hot at the time that she’s even credited with actually getting people to buy VCRs, which at the time were new fangled-contraptions, just to do her workouts.

Up until a few weeks ago, I’d never spent any time with Jane outside of the movie Working Nine to Five with Dolly Parton. I knew she was a bit of a political firecracker, one heck of an actress and someone who made the leotard mainstream, but that was about it.

That all has changed now. After doing The Complete Workout & Stress Reduction Program from the Jane Fonda Collection, I feel like Jane has become a part of my life in both a mystical and terrifying way. As a group exercise instructor, I cue like her, correct form like her and even say “feel the burn” like her. Because she defined what an aerobics instructor was and what an aerobics class was, she is a part of me and anyone else teaching group exercise today. Again, both mystical and terrifying.

The Complete Workout & Stress Reduction Program is a re-release of her 1988 and 1989 hits, respectively. The Complete Workout lasts about an hour and includes weights and dance-y aerobics. The second workout, The Stress Reduction Program, lasts about 40 minutes and includes simple aerobics, stretching and a 20-minute guided progressive muscle relaxation. The two workouts are divided up on the DVD menu and provide a nice mix of the holy trinity of fitness: cardio, strength and flexibility.

The workouts don’t start like most DVDs though. After a super old-school Warner Home Video graphic flies at ya, you’re hit with some clay animation that is eerily similar to The Pee-wee Herman Show. In it, a miniature-sized Jane walks around an aerobics studio. She waves and smiles amidst huge towels, shoes, gym bags, a Walkman and dumbbells, which all feature the tape’s cast and crew. It’s the kind of thing—along with parachute pants and acid-washed jeans—that you remember from the 80s but wish that you could forget.

Once you get into the workouts, it’s like 1988 on speed. Jane and every participant except for two dudes in the back are in leotards. Neon green, neon pink, zebra stripes, it’s all there in dated splendor. In the back of the set for The Complete Workout, there’s a woman with huge mall bangs. Her skin is roughly the color of an overly ripened orange, and there’s no doubt that she’d get a “severe” ranking on Go Fug Yourself’s Tanorexia Watch list, along with this fellow retro star. There’s also a woman who doesn’t look a day over 30, yet has short, poofy gray hair that undeniably looks like a wig. It’s almost as if the producer decided that the tape needed an older woman, so they threw a salt-and-peppery wig on a young girl and called it a day.

The Complete Workout
The Complete Workout begins with an easy warm-up and is followed by some great strength training. All you need for the workout is free weights (5 lb, 8 lb ad 10 lb were good for me), a mat and a towel. The moves are pretty basic (bicep curls, lateral raises, push-ups, lunges) but effective, and you work every major muscle group. And although some of the lower-body moves are a bit suggestive (pelvic thrusts and standing butt squeezes), you can’t deny that they are effective. Jane is great at cuing and is extra attentive to form. She also reassures viewers that most women can’t bulk up by lifting heavier weights. Jane may have inspired a fitness movement, but unfortunately that message didn’t get through to 2008 as I still know too many women who are afraid of lifting. Sigh. 

Make no mistake: Doing Cindy Crawford’s 1992 Shape Your Body Workout will not make you a supermodel. It will, however, prove to you that supermodels look good wearing anything, even if it is big hair, high-rise shorts and puffy socks.

With two strength-based workouts of about 40 minutes, the video also includes a bonus 10-minute segment. For the longer segments, Cindy works out with her trainer, Radu, who only occasionally jumps in to adjust her form and whose main purpose seems to be counting very quickly. This speed theme was carried throughout the entire video. While the video contains effective moves, it lacks the modern emphasis on form that is now commonplace in workout videos.

With beach, roof top and studio locations, the sets weren’t bad, but it would have been nice had the director picked one location. The camera jumped from Cindy on the beach to Cindy in the studio to Cindy on a roof top—all during one move. If that wasn’t discombobulating enough, some shots were black and white, and some were in color for pure sensory overload. I also won’t be complaining about generic background workout music in the future. While this video featured pop music, a song by Seal, for example, it just seemed distracting to have real music in a workout video.

Both of the longer workouts had nearly identical warm-ups. With neck stretches, shoulder rolls, arm and hip circles, everything seemed to go by at a lightning pace. I had to slow the neck moves down to what I felt comfortable with. Cindy may look good flailing her hair about, but that’s not my style, and I would imagine that if I had a neck doctor, he would yell at me for doing these moves.

The first workout has you doing variations of standing leg swings and lunges with kicks. For each set of moves, you do three sets, so it gets rather repetitive. Moving to the floor, you use a chair to do butt lifts and leg lifts, three sets of 10 push-ups and three sets of different upper body moves using weights. For the abs, you do three sets of three moves: crunches, full sit-ups and jackknifes, working the obliques. It would have been great had Radu stepped in and given pointers on form and control, instead of just counting as fast as possible. With the speed at which the moves are done I never did all of the reps, instead preferring to do moves correctly with good form. Swinging my legs as quickly as Cindy didn’t seem to be as effective, or good for the back.

The second workout threw in some of the lower-body moves from the first workout, with additional weight training thrown in for an emphasis on the upper body. Three sets of a couple of different lunge and squat variations, combined with the leg swings worked the butt, quads and inner thighs. The arms do get a killer workout, with three sets of 10 of eight different moves, including bicep curls, overhead presses, front and side raises, and French presses, to name a few. My arms were burning after this was done, even though I couldn’t do all the reps because of the speed. HaveImentionedthespeed? For abs, you do three sets of four crunch variations, again so fast that I could only get in 14 real crunches to her 20.

The last workout proves that you can get some toning in even if you’re short on time. Cindy, in her high-rise jean shorts, does 10 minutes of squats, lunges, push-up variations, crunches, sit-ups and butt lifts. She also makes me want to bring back the now-dorky high-rise cut-off jean short. OK, maybe not, but she looks adorable in them.

FBG Rating (Out of 5):
Instruction: ★
Long-Term Likeability: ★★
Music: ★★
Fun Factor: ★
Meets Expectations: ★★
Overall: ★★

Fit Bottom line: While the moves are mostly basic and effective, I would hesitate to recommend this DVD to people who aren’t well-versed in proper form. —Erin

Want more reviews? Read the Fit Bottomed Girls’ new release reviews and retro reviews. For more on how our ratings are determined (it’s not a science, but we do have some method to our madness), read our review criteria.

Photo grabbed from www.photobucket.com.

Gilad. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Your spandex is so lovely and your belted manpris enable such free movement.

Ok, enough waxing poetic. As previously mentioned, Gilad’s Bodies in Motion introduced me to aerobics and toning back in the day. I decided to travel back in time to 1987 to try out Gilad’s The 60 & 30 Minute Low-Impact Workouts on DVD.

Despite the belted spandex and blue Reebok high-tops, the video didn’t seem too visually out of touch. The timeless setting of a beautiful Hawaiian beach helped. There were a couple of goofy-looking moves, but the 30-minute segment consisted of the standard warmup, which included using your own resistance to work your biceps and triceps, easy squats and twists to warm up the waist. An 8-minute cardio session follows, and Gilad tells you to get your thighs up in the air while marching, which seems like a comment fitting for another video. But Gilad’s accent is charming, and you know he doesn’t mean it like that. I also have a strange affinity for the music in this workout. I think it’s the fact that its intensity crescendos as the workout intensity increases. Either that or my music tastes didn’t mature past 1987.

The cardio wasn’t terribly challenging, but it would be a perfect fit for beginners. Gilad also forgets the age-old rule of exercise instruction: Always mirror the participants. So, when he says right, he’s the one going right, which makes for confusing footwork. However, there’s an easy fix to this issue—just do the opposite of what he tells you.

The floor work, which worked the abs, hips, thighs and buttocks, did make my hips burn. The cool down incorporated several hamstring stretches, which are always welcome to my tight legs. The 30-minute workout was the same as what you saw on Bodies in Motion on television. I think I may have even done this exact workout when I was 13.

The 60-minute workout was more challenging. It incorporated a longer 22-minute cardio session, which used larger movements and some different choreography to get your heart rate up. No bootcamp here though, it was all standard old-school aerobics. As with his warmups that rely on your own resistance, you get out what you put into it the cardio. If you really go for it, you’ll feel like you got a 22-minute session. If you half-ass it, you’re going to feel like you just warmed up. Your choice. The floor work effectively worked my abs with his rope-pulling moves, and I was feeling it the next day.

FBG Rating (Out of 5):
Instruction: ★★★
Long-Term Likeability: ★★★
Music: ★★★★
Fun Factor: ★★
Meets Expectations: ★★★
Overall: ★★★

Fit Bottom line: The low-impact cardio was good for my injured foot and would be best-suited for new exercisers, but you can make it more challenging by putting in your maximum effort. Gilad’s endearing and the floor work hits all the right spots. —Erin

Want more reviews? Read the Fit Bottomed Girls’ new release reviews and retro reviews. For more on how our ratings are determined (it’s not a science, but we do have some method to our madness), read our review criteria.

An open letter to Paula Abdul:

Oh, Paula my dear, Paula. We’ve had quite the relationship over the years. When Straight Up first came on the radio, it was love at first listen. I, a mere mortal young’un and oh so impressionable, spent my waking non-school hours singing your songs and memorizing the choreography from your video with MC Skat Kat. I attended your Spellbound tour, binoculars in hand, hand at my heart, musical timing out the window (for me, not you). In my head, I danced just like you. You were my role model and probably the majority of the reason why I started teaching aerobics eight years ago. (The wannabe pop music star in me started early but didn’t find a home until later in life when I came to grips with the fact that I have minimal singing or dancing talent outside of the comfort of my own four walls.)

Over the years, I’ve cheered for your comeback. I bought your 1995 CD Head Over Heels, and I believed that Crazy Cool was, in fact, cool. I watched American Idol when it started, and I still do. I watched your short-lived reality TV show Hey Paula and spent each episode pulling for you and a worrying a tad. This is not the Paula Abdul I remember over the years.

No, siree. I remember this one. The one who energetically hosted Paula Abdul’s Get Up and Dance workout. This fantastic 54-minute workout was the perfect high-low danced-based routine that even beginners could follow. It was fun, it featured your music, and it allowed all viewers to channel their inner Paula.

Nowadays, the VHS tape is on DVD and features a handy chapter selection to help navigate through your welcoming introduction (including your smart tips about warming up adequately, going at your own pace and staying hydrated), warm-up, dance routines and cool down. But it still captures all of your greatness. You cue well, your energy is contagious, and you make the dance combinations easy to learn, resulting in one big dance party at the end.

Even during the unusual parts of the DVD you keep your cool. For example, at the end of the dance party finale when three normal-looking guys from the back of the set take over for an odd-yet-rousing rendition of the song Y.M.C.A., you roll with it. You even stay collected when one of your co-hosts, Nancy, decides to hijack the cool down with her military-esque style. You remain upbeat and even thank her at the end (although we all know she tried to steal your spotlight).

God, you were glorious! Look how smiley and happy you are in this VHS. How coherent you are! How beautiful and nimble!

If any of the above Paula is still in you—and I know she is somewhere—please bring her back. And make another exercise DVD. I want another one to covet…and review.

The DVD begins with a bang, literally. The DVD announcer starts the VHS turned DVD with a countdown from 10, and then BANG, there is Richard in his red spandex glittered glory. Sparkles! Although Netflix says the DVD is 60 minutes long, it’s only 30. And although I kinda loved it, 30 minutes was probably enough.

There’s no DVD menu or extras to choose from, you just hit play and go. And oh, do you go.The ‘80s music is blaring from the start and RS is there with his workout buddies, all of whom are decked out in neon colors from the times. Totally tubular, dude. The workout consists of a warm-up, three aerobics routines set to ’80s tunes and a cool down.

At first I thought this might be lame, but I have a confession: I had a really good time. It spoke loudly to my floor-aerobics soul, and a few times I even giggled in delight. Yes, I did. I’m not ashamed to admit it. I’m just cheese ball enough to really enjoy clapping my hands, snapping my fingers, and pretending to drive a car and even imitate honking a horn, along with actually saying, “honk, honk” to the tune “Freeway of Love.” During the song “Maniac,” you do the Flashdance run-in-place complete with locomotion hands. Oh, I channeled my inner Jennifer Beals there.

As much as I loved the moves paired with music, some of them were hard to follow, and Richard sometimes spent too much time telling me to “sparkle” for him instead of just cuing the moves. (He also said priceless things such as “Get snappy!” and “I’m your best friend. Did you know that? I am.”) From time to time, there are some blurry camera angles that I think are trying to spice things up, but it just makes you feel like you’re drunk. However, I do believe that with a few viewings, you could easily memorize the moves and rock them out ’80s style.

This wasn’t the best workout I’ve ever had from an exercise DVD—and there was only cardio—but it was fun, and the Fit Bottomed Girls like fun. And, although Richard doesn’t tell you, you can easily adjust the workout to your fitness level. If you’re really in shape and feeling great, make those grapevines and ball changes extra sassy. If you’re a beginner or feeling tired, take it down a notch. After all, as Mr. Simmons says, you are number one.

FBG Rating (Out of 5):
Instruction: ★
Long-Term Likeability: ★★★
Music: ★★★★★
Fun Factor: ★★★★★
Meets Expectations: ★★★★
Overall: ★★★★

Fit Bottom line: If you like to dance, loved the ’80s and don’t mind being told to “sparkle” by an overly enthusiastic spandex-clad man, go buy this DVD—like now. —Jenn

Want more reviews? Read the Fit Bottomed Girls’ new release reviews and retro reviews. For more on how our ratings are determined (it’s not a science, but we do have some method to our madness), read our review criteria.

Photo grabbed from http://www.photobucket.com.

Although the fashions on the DVD scream 1985, after a bit of research, I was surprised to learn that the original VHS tapes were made in the mid-90s. What also surprised me was how advanced the exercise science was for 1994. Tamilee Webb knows her stuff. She’s likeable, cues well, provides options for beginners, and describes exercises and postural alignment in an easy-to-understand way. And she’s cute, especially in the Abs section of the DVD, where she’s working mall bangs, spandex and the all-white high-top Ryka’s with accompanying scrunched down white socks. Rad. (In the Buns sections, she’s less cute and more sex kitten, with her hair teased and down, and her brightly colored thong leotard on, but more on that later…)

The DVD is easy to navigate. The menu divides up the Abs and Buns sections separately, with three 15-minute workouts in each section. Each section contains a warm-up and cool down, so you really can just do 15 minutes a day. The sections build in intensity as you progress. Abs #1 and Buns #1 are pretty basic. Abs #2 and Buns #2 are a bit more difficult, and Tamilee saves the most challenging routines for the #3 segments. As someone who regularly exercises, I found the #3 workouts to be my favorite.

Despite how much I’m raving about this DVD, there is one major problem I have with it: I wouldn’t feel comfortable having it on my television set if someone randomly dropped by. Is this because I would feel un-cool doing leg lifts with a perky woman in a neon pink leotard? No. I’m really fine with that. Is it because the music it just too embarrassing? Nah, for 1994, it’s really not too bad. I couldn’t have it on my TV set because it makes me blush.

Not only does the set contain two TVs—one showing Tamilee from afar and another serving as the crotch/booty cam—but in the Buns segments you can see, er, A LOT of Ms. Webb. Like too much. Way too much. I’ll spare you the details, but really, in a workout video, do you really want to see “too much” of anyone?

FBG Rating (Out of 5):
Instruction: ★★★★★
Long-Term Likeability: ★★★★
Music: ★★
Fun Factor: ★★★
Meets Expectations: ★★★ (and then some)
Overall: ★★★★

Fit Bottom line: Fourteen years later, it’s still a good workout for all levels of exercisers, but be warned, cable TV couldn’t show it until after 10 p.m. —Jenn

Want more reviews? Read the Fit Bottomed Girls’ new release reviews and retro reviews. For more on how our ratings are determined (it’s not a science, but we do have some method to our madness), read our review criteria.

Photo grabbed from http://www.photobucket.com

The FBGs know that getting to the gym isn’t always possible. And, gosh darn it, sometimes the weather just doesn’t cooperate. (Overcrowded gyms and Mother Nature can be such a pain in the arse.) To remedy this pesky problem, we’ve decided to review an exercise DVD once a week so that you can spend your indoor, in-home workout time wisely.

You can note these posts by their labels. “Under Review” is a critique of exercise DVDs released within the last year or so, and “Retro Review” is a/an analysis/assessment/celebration of DVDs that are, well, retro. Think of your mom’s favorite VHS tapes from a time when you were too young to tell the difference between good fashion choices and neon aerobics garb: Sweatin’ to the Oldies, Buns of Steels and anything featuring Jane Fonda. Thankfully, many of these throwbacks have been re-released on DVD format. The FBGs find this incredibly awesome/terrifying.

So that you know that we aren’t basing our ratings of these DVDs solely on the incidence of fashion faux pas (no matter how fantastic or horrendous they are), we’ve outlined our rating system below. Note that all ratings are out of five stars and that five stars aren’t easy to get.

Instruction: Is the instructor easy to follow and understand? Is she encouraging, but not too encouraging? Happy but not high as a kite? We’ll rate this all here.

Long-Term Likeability: Is this a DVD we’d imagine ourselves doing again? If so, there’s one star, maybe even two. If it’s a DVD we can see ourselves doing regularly, we’re in the three- to four-star range. If the DVD is so amazing that we want to do it morning, noon and night (OK, or even weekly), it’s a five-star DVD.

Music: How’s the music? Is it fun? Is it something we could see ourselves listening to on the radio of our own free will? Or is it disjointed and better suited for a 1st grade talent show? Two stars is bearable. Three and four stars are likeable, maybe even hum-in-the-shower material. Get five stars, and we’re dancing our pants off.

Fun Factor: Did we actually enjoy it? Would a sane, non-group exercise instructor really have fun doing this DVD? We filter out the non-fun stuff for you.

Meets Expectations: DVD covers promise A LOT. This rating separates the hype from the truth by letting you know how true the workout is to its DVD box’s description. (Note that at least a full star is usually deducted for DVDs that fail to mention that you’ll be needing additional equipment. That’s the worst!)

Overall: A summation of the above criteria in star form.

Fit Bottom line: The FBGs visceral reaction to the DVD.

If you have any suggestions on how to improve our rating system or have DVDs you’d like us to review, please comment below or e-mail us at contact@fitbottomedgirls.com. —Jenn