Is this your family's idea of a well-rounded meal? Oye! Credit: ebruli

Today’s post on dealing with an unhealthy family is part of FBG’s Back to Basics Week that features the best beginner fitness and beginner nutrition posts that help you to be a little healthier and—in theme with the week—a little smarter. Read on to learn how, in her own words, reader Beth Osborne has managed to make her stubbornly unhealthy family, a little bit healthier—baby step by baby step.

I come from a family that loves its food. Getting together usually means copious amounts of butter and chocolate. It’s an excellent social time, but it threatens the size of my waist quite a bit. What’s more, in a sea of the slightly portly, I am training for a marathon and am an on-again vegetarian.

It is a constant struggle to try to get my family to eat the same food as me at dinnertime. Since returning home after completing my graduate degree, I find myself going head-to-head with my meat-loving mother. I worry not only for my commitment to this choice I’ve made to eat vegetarian, but also for the health of my 52-year-old mother, as well as the teenage brothers I have. All three are overweight and are hesitant to jump on that treadmill.

It’s a dilemma many people face. One hits that weight wall where they look in the mirror and can’t see a fit person underneath. They get discouraged, get disgusted and give up. The issue heats up whenever I force my tofu scrambles and vegetable-heavy casseroles on a family that would be infinitely happier with hamburgers. I try to sneak veggies in, but to no avail. My own mother picks out the healthy things, opting to eat the grains and cheese instead.

To all of those twenty-somethings (or older!) who are struggling along with me: do not fear! It takes baby steps and concessions on each side in order to make life-changing choices. The stages I often encounter include (but certainly are not limited to), the following…

4 Steps to Help Your Stubborn Family Be a Little Bit Healthier

1. Bargain. If I allow my family to have a junk-infested meal one night (think french fries, chicken nuggets and cheese sauce), I insist we have two nights of health food. By allowing them to get the bad stuff some of the time, I introduce the good without depriving them of the salt and fat they’re used to—thus slowly weaning them off.

2. Guilt them. It sounds bad, I know. I’m not proud of it. But whenever one of my family members complains about the Xs in front of their shirt sizes, I remind them that this situation is not a permanent one. Weight can be changed with a change in attitude, diet and exercise.

3. Retreat to the great outdoors. I will unplug the electronics in the house if that’s what it takes to get my brothers outside for at least a half hour each day. I aim for after dinner since A) that’s when they seem to eat the most, and B) the weather is beautiful.

4. Joke. The power of laughter should never be ignored. By making light of the weight issues in my family, they become more at ease with the issues at hand. An anxious doctor prognosis can be forgotten if we go outside and toss the football around while trying to make our best Stewie impression.

It’s a long road, and I have a feeling both the lean and the large in this situation will struggle for a healthier, happier family. But persistence and confidence does wonders for even the most dire of family circumstance.

Thank you Beth for sharing your story and your tips! Is your family healthy? If not, how do you deal and encourage them to make better choices? —Jenn

Credit: Ha-Wee

If you’re planning to walk down the aisle soon, you’re probably already putting some extra care and attention into eating right and working out. After all, you want to feel and look your best on the big day! But what happens if your fiancé isn’t quite so gung-ho about your healthy lifestyle?

If you’re butting heads with your soon-to-be spouse about how to eat or exercise, or if your loved one is being less than supportive about your weight-loss efforts, these nine tips will help you deal without resorting to drastic measures.

1. Have a frank conversation. Your fiancé is—and will soon legally be—your life partner. If your fiancé’s unhealthy habits are throwing a wrench into your plans of looking radiantly healthy on your wedding day, speak up. It may be that your fiancé is completely unaware that you’re trying to lose weight or become healthier. It may also be that he hasn’t thought about how his behavior is affecting you. Explain why you want to get healthy, and ask for support. Remind your future spouse that this is your future, and you want to set a good example for the rest of your family. It’s hard to say no to that!

Continue reading for nine ways to cope before walking down the aisle…

—Jenn

Sometimes we get random things in the mail at FBG HQ. Today’s review would be one of those random things. Because really, I’m not sure how the DVD Patti Stanger: Married in a Year relates to fitness, but we totally took the bait and popped this one in the our DVD player. Despite the fact that I’m happily married, I am a sucker for pretty much anything on Bravo TV, so I couldn’t resist its reality-TV lure. (Not to mention that it’s Love Yo’Self week and Patti Stanger always preaches on Millionaire Matchmaker that you have to love yourself first before anyone else will.)

So what did I think of this love-focused DVD? Well, it starts out with a pretty long commercial for the Sensa weight-loss system (you know the one where you sprinkle something on your food and—bam!—you look like a model?), which Patti claims she used to drop 20 pounds effortlessly (there’s the fitnessy part, I suppose!). Not only does that message make my fit bottom twitch (eat everything in moderation, listen to your hunger and exercise—oye!) but the fact that there’s an ad before a DVD that people actually buy—and it’s not just a trailer? Um, not a fan.

Then once you get into the meat of the DVD, it’s a somewhat disorganized hodgepodge of Patti giving tips, speaking to an audience of women, and interviews with sex and relationship experts. Patti is obviously best in reality-TV show form and seems very rushed and unnatural on stage and talking to the camera. There are some great tips and information in the DVD, including a 12-month action plan for finding the love of your life, a fascinating and frank conversation between Patti and singles about dating and marriage, and how to even “negotiate” a ring by setting clear boundaries and having honest conversations with your potential mate without freaking him the heck out. There are also helpful tidbits and acted scenes that display how to meet the right guy, how to present your best most authentic self, how to forget the jerks you’ve been with before and what red flags to be aware of.

And the best part? Her first step to finding love is to take three months for you to figure out what you love about yourself and what you want in a mate.

So is it a DVD that single girls should go out and buy? No, not right away. But if it comes up on Netflix or into your local library (or you and a few friends want to split the cost), should you watch it? Totally! And better yet, why not enter to win this DVD by leaving a comment below? U.S. residents only, please, and winners will be contact via email in about a week! —Jenn

Honey, cinnamon, cloves and nutmeg make this dessert sexy!

It wouldn’t be Valentine’s Day and Love Yo’Self Week without a few tasty treats to celebrate with! This honey cake is not only delicious, it’s an aphrodisiac. According to Dr. Lynn Anderson who graciously supplied us with this yummy recipe she created for her book Sex Matters so…Get Sexually Healthy the Natural Way, honey is a complete food used throughout history for endurance, performance and quick recovery time. Pair it with some spices known for their aphrodisiac properties and some wine, and you’re good to go!

Honey Cake Recipe

Ingredients
1/2 c of honey
1/2 c of Strega wine (or any sweet white wine, but Strega is best)
5 egg yolks
7 egg whites
1½ tsp of salt
1 tbsp of grated orange peel
1/2 c plus 2 tablespoons olive oil
1 c whole wheat flour
1/2 tsp each of cinnamon, cloves and nutmeg

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

2. Whisk egg yolks with honey for five minutes. Add orange peel. Sift flour with salt and spices. Gradually stir in egg yolks and honey. Add wine and olive oil, stirring constantly as you add small amounts. Beat the egg whites until stiff and fold into batter.

3. Line the bottom of an 8-inch spring-form pan with oiled parchment or a brown paper bag cut to size. Oil the pan and paper well. Pour batter into pan and bake for 20 minutes.

4. Turn oven off and let cake sit for 10 minutes. Remove cake from oven. Turn over and detach from spring pan carefully. Enjoy!

Would you like to learn more about how what you eat, how you exercise and how you think can affect your love and sex life? Leave a comment with your favorite Valentine’s Day treat, and we’ll select one lucky U.S. commenter to win Dr. Lynn’s book Sex Matters so…Get Sexually Healthy the Natural Way in about a week. The winner will be notified by email, so don’t neglect those in-boxes! —Jenn

Credit: Liz Grace

Dating isn’t easy. In the beginning stages, deciding what to wear, where to go and whether you should or shouldn’t kiss can be stressful. Then, once you start to get more serious, you have big decisions to make, such as whether to be exclusive, to live together or to get married. With so much to think about, your healthy lifestyle is probably the last thing on your mind.

Well, it shouldn’t be. According to research from the journal Obesity, dating and cohabiting can lead to weight gain. The 2009 study looked at 1,293 dating, cohabiting and married romantic couples, and found that over five years, women who were dating put on an average of 15 pounds, and those living with a romantic partner gained 18 pounds. Men also have an increased risk of becoming obese as they stay in a relationship, but not nearly as much as women.

Researchers say that when you find someone you really like, you start spending more time with them and therefore adopt some of their less-than-healthy behaviors. Or you cut back on your usual workout time to spend time with your sweetie.

But you don’t have to be a statistic! Continue reading these five tips to enjoy falling in love—without falling off the healthy living wagon.

—Jenn

Looking for a fun yet not overly slutty gift for Valentine’s Day for yourself or your honey? May we suggest the Sexy Love Sox, which not only has a name that makes us giggle like a fifth grader whose science teacher just accidentally said ”orgasm” instead of “organism” (pretty sure that’s happened to everyone in school at least once), is also less than $20 and is guaranteed to give you a good time (or at least make your feet feel really good).

Based on the ancient Chinese technique of reflexology, these unisex, one-size-fits-all, easy-to-use socks show exactly where to press to stimulate the body’s erogenous zones, boost sex drive and improve sexual performance. The idea is that by pressing on specific reflex areas, you can actually stimulate that organ of the body and encourage your partner’s sexual arousal and excitement. And singles, you aren’t left out of the fun either: The socks can also be used by ladies who want to boost their own sex lives without a partner. Ooh-la-la!

Similar to this other pair of reflexology socks and this baby-massage shirt (remember to use protection when using the Sexy Love Sox unless you’d like to have a baby to massage) that we reviewed last year, this pair of socks comes with a detailed guide of information on reflexology and easy-to-follow instructions on how to use them on men and women. I won’t get into too many personal details on how these affected my sex life, but let’s just say that they’re definitely fun and definitely worth packing for a weekend getaway.

Want to try a pair of Sexy Love Sox? Leave a comment telling us about your PG-rated Valentine’s Day plans, and we’ll select one lucky U.S. commenter in a week to win a pair! As usual, the winner will be notified by email. Whose feet are feeling sexy? —Jenn

Whether you’re married, dating or living up the single life, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of having your social life revolve around food and drink. You go out with co-workers for happy hour. You meet friends for coffee. You’re constantly out with your love for dinners on the town. It’s easy to see how it happens: Everyone has to eat, so why not do it together? But believe it or not, there are ways to keep your social life active while burning calories, rather than consuming them. So if you’re tired of the standard dinner and movie night—and want to avoid the high-cal movie theater temptations—here are some ideas for date nights that will get you moving.

Laser tag

Credit: it_will_be_rain_tonight

I had never played laser tag until recently, when my husband and I went out with friends for a laser tag birthday celebration. I had no idea what to expect, and if I had, I would have dressed in short sleeves for sure. You suit up in a vest with sensors, grab a laser gun, and you’re ready to roll. For 15 minutes, you move stealthily around the arena, trying to sneak attack your enemies while trying to avoid being shot yourself.

When I first heard that games only lasted 15 minutes, I was a bit disappointed. It seemed so short. But by the end of 15 minutes, you are sweating both from the adrenaline of the hunt and from moving around so much. I must admit, I was pretty terrible at the game, and only got worse with my second game, but holy cow was it fun. Moving around for 30 minutes total—up and down stairs, too—gave me a good workout. My wrist was even sore the next day from holding the gun.

Skating

Credit: flattop341

I know it’s not exactly the season for ice skating, but just because it’s not Christmas doesn’t mean you can’t get your skate on. Most skating rinks have open skates, and hitting the ice is a great way to cool down from the summer heat, as well as have an excuse to hold hands with your significant other. Plus, you can always go elementary-school style and hit the roller rink. Trust me, once you do the limbo, you won’t have any doubts that skating is a good workout.

Hiking
There’s no doubt that hiking is a good workout. I personally don’t like to hike alone because I watch way too many crime shows. But bringing a friend or partner along on a hike not only helps you have safety in numbers, but it’s also a great opportunity to bond in nature. Bring a picnic and bottle of wine to make it a real date—or at the very least remember to bring lots of water.

Bowling
Strap on those dorky borrowed shoes and start aiming at those pins. I know bowling isn’t the most active date night you can have, but it gets you off the couch, doesn’t it? Plus, whenever I go bowling, I generally get in a few gut-busting belly laughs, so it counts as ab work. Just don’t drink too much beer to offset your calorie burn. And stretch that arm—the only time I have elbow-area soreness is after bowling.

Putt-Putt Golf

Credit: popofatticus

Sure, you won’t get a high calorie burn, but putt-putt is still a fun active date. You’re getting a good 18 holes of walking in, and don’t discount all of the up and down squatting to pick up your ball after you sink a hole in one. Plus, don’t underestimate the amount of effort it takes to get that golf ball up some of those wicked hills they throw at you in the form of igloos and animals.

Dancing
Although I’m terrible at it, I still love to dance. Dancing is great with the man-friends or the lady friends and is a ton of good clean fun. Take a ballroom dance class, and you’ll have a standing date each week to get your groove on. It’s no gym class, but that doesn’t mean you’re not getting exercise. I recently danced my arse off at a wedding, and in my tipsy haze, actually remember thinking, “Wow, my legs are TIRED!” If you’re out on the town, try not to drink so much that you offset the activity, though. Moderation is key.

What are your favorite active dates? Give us your ideas in the comments! —Erin

When The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Sexual Health and Fitness landed on my doorstep, thankfully covered in FedEx packing so that my mail carrier still considers me to be an upstanding young woman, I really didn’t expect to learn much. After all, I took a sex psychology class in college and I know plenty about fitness. Work out, eat right, feel great, have safe sex, right? That seemed like the logical conclusion to me. However, I learned a lot of interesting facts in this book. I’m not sure I’d bring up my new factoids at dinner with Grandma on Sunday afternoon, and I’d probably put the book in a drawer before company comes over (I can see the conversation with my in-laws now: “So, what are you reading…oh…um…”), but it’s definitely worth picking up or at least reading a few pages at your favorite local bookstore.

Note to readers: The following material may not be suitable for those under the age of 18 or for those who lack the maturity of at least an 18-year-old (although I’m sure you’ll find it perhaps even more entertaining, so read on).

And, no, we’re not paid by any company whose product we review, so I’m being totally honest here. In fact, to prove that this 300-page book is both informational and entertaining, I’ve compiled a short review of each chapter in the book along with a fact that you probably didn’t know. So, like Salt-N-Pepa once said, let’s talk about sex, baby!

Chapter 1: What Is Sexual Health and Fitness?
Good question, right? This chapters lays out (pun intended) the entire premise of the book and sets a tone for the publication.
Fun fact—Attitude and persistence are your best buddies when you are on the road to sexual fitness. (This is the least juicy of the 16, so stick with me.)

Chapter 2: Sexual Myths
This one dispels everything from having to be in love to have good sex to how important size is to how old is too old.
Fun fact—As long as you feel good, age is nothing but a number. Many have sex well past their 70s. Too many jokes there, so I’ll let you come up with your own.

Chapter 3: Emotional Balance and Sexual Health
This isn’t really breaking news, but emotional and sexual health are related. This chapters tells you why you don’t feel like mattress dancing when you’re stressed, anxious or sad.
Fun fact—Anxiety is a tricky thing. For some people it heightens the sexual experience (think exhibitionists), and for others it distracts from the moment. Take a few deep breaths in either situation.

Chapter 4: Healthy Body, Healthy Sex
Everything from circulation to hormones is covered in this one, including a nice description of organic vs. dynamic fitness. (It just sounds dirty, don’t it?)
Fun fact—Becoming more flexible will increase your sexual choices. Yoga participation just went up 25 percent.

Chapter 5: Your Five Best Bets for Improving Sexual Health
In a nutshell, the five best bets are eating a healthy and complete diet, regular exercise, maintaining a healthy weight, getting enough sleep and quitting bad habits (read: smoking, excess alcohol consumption).
Fun fact—The Vitamin E in asparagus is said to be a sexy food. The authors suggest laying a few spears on a plate in cream sauce for a “suggestive touch.” I can hear you. Stop your giggling.

Chapter 6: Maintaining Top Sexual Health and Fitness
This chapter gets down to the nitty gritty, detailing upper-body, lower-body and core exercises to help you stay fit in the boudoir.
Fun fact—Men can do Kegels/pelvic floor muscle training, too! In fact, when men do them regularly they can decrease premature ejaculation and become multi-orgasmic by cultivating the ability to orgasm without ejaculating. To heck with Viagra, you think men would be all over these at the gym.

Chapter 7: Cleanliness Is Next to Sexiness
Can’t have a sex book without talking about keeping the bits clean, I guess. This one goes into detail about keeping the balance between clean and too clean.
Fun fact—And I quote, “Waxing is not for the scrotum!”

Chapter 8: Sexual Health and Fitness—The Mind/Body Connection
The role your brain and outlook on life plays into your horizontal mambo sessions. Suffice it to say that sex isn’t just physical. And stress can kill desire. So make sure you take some “me” time to equal more good knockin’-the-boots time.
Fun fact—Sex has been shown to reduce stress levels FOR A WEEK. Bottom line? When you’re in a committed relationship be sure to get some at least once a week.

Chapter 9: Fateful Attraction: Can Love Make You Fit for Sex?
Here, the authors’ take on the chemistry of love, attraction and relationships. They also help you define what’s in love, long-term love and lust.
Fun fact—Cuddling is a drug. Seriously, when you cuddle—especially after sex—your body releases endorphins and oxytocin.

Chapter 10: Viral Villians
Here comes the important safe sex stuff. There is lots on STDs and why they’re so dangerous, so protect yourself!
Fun fact—Condoms only provide some protection against HPV. Be smart about whom you jump in the sack with because two of the highest-risk strains cause almost all cases of cervical cancer in women. (Okay, that was actually two facts and they’re not exactly fun, but they’re important!)

Chapter 11: Bacterial Bad Boys, Fungal Infections, and Critters
Not sure I ever want to see the word “critter” in relation to sex again as it just kind of creeps me out, but this chapter tackles common bacterial sexually transmitted infections (STIs), such as gonorrhea, chlamydia and scabies. Ewww.
Fun fact—Although yeast is mainly an infection that women get, uncircumcised men can get it, too. Have the fella wash the little fella with gentle soap and water, and apply an antifungal medication and they’re usually good to go without a doctor visit. After all, I know how much men love going to the doctor.

Chapter 12: Contraception and Sexual Health
Basically, this chapter is about how to get knocked up, and how the products that stop Fertile Myrtle in her tracks can jack you up.
Fun fact—The official term for “pulling out” (which isn’t a good method of contraception, by the way) is coitus interruptus. I didn’t make that up.

Chapter 13: Risky Sex
Compulsive sex is the topic here, along with how risky sex can jeopardize your sexual health. For you bad girls/boys out there, there are also tips on ways to decrease your risks and still have fun.
Fun fact—Men who have more sexual partners have an increased rate of prostate cancer. Researchers aren’t sure why or even if the increased sexual activity causes the cancer, but it’s interesting nonetheless.

Chapter 14: Sexual Dysfunctions
Have low-desire? Orgasm issues? This is your chapter.
Fun fact—Priapism is a condition where a man’s you-know-what stays erect for more than four hours. It might seem like a great thing to some, but it’s actually a medical emergency because the reduced blood supply can cause permanent tissue damage. Yeowsers.

Chapter 15: Medical Conditions That Cause Sexual Problems
This chapter examines how medical issues such as heart disease, diabetes, asthma and cancer can affect sex and what you can do about it. It also touches upon medications that may decrease your libido.
Fun fact—For most people, having sex is about the same level of activity as climbing two flights of stairs. No word on if the length of time it takes to cover those stairs equates to the average time spent in the sheets.

Chapter 16: Other Challenges to Your Sex Life
Everyone wants a healthy sex life, and this final chapter addresses normal changes in desire due to hormones and age, along with some more medical conditions, namely those related to aging.
Fun fact—The strongest association for a satisfying sex life is with health. Period. So, stay healthy and happy and the stuff in the shack usually comes naturally.

Did ya learn something? See? I told ya.

Wanna learn more? Comment below or e-mail us at contact@fitbottomedgirls.com, and we’ll pick one lucky reader who will win a copy of the book! —Jenn

Purchase The Complete Idiot’s Guide: Sexual Health and Fitness here. Read more of the Fit Bottomed Girls’ lit picks here.

While there may be some activities you can’t do as a couple—he runs way faster and leaves me choking on his dust, for example—we do enjoy hiking together, skiing and walking the dog. At the gym, we do our own cardio, and he helps me figure out the weight machines. I know I work out harder and longer when he’s at the gym with me.

If you’re single, no worries! Grab a friend and make weekly dates at the gym or the park. When you know someone expects you to be there, it’s hard to get lazy and let them down. —Erin

Read more fun tips and experiences from the FBGs.

Photo grabbed from photobucket.com.