An Operating System for Life? We Try Neuro Drinks

Before I begin this Neuro Drinks review, you should know something about me. I am a former Diet Coke addict. I used to love, love, love my daily Diet Coke (or three). But about a year and a half ago, after committing to eating a cleaner, less processed diet, I kicked the habit. I now rarely have any kind of artificial sweetener. In fact, I’m not even a big fan of stevia, although it is in the protein powder I use for my smoothies.

With that personal caveat, let’s get down to business. The Neuro collection is basically a line of wellness drinks that are said to boost specific areas of overall health through supplementation. Some are lightly carbonated, others are non-carbonated. All are sweetened with sucralose (aka Splenda—remember my caveat?) and have 35 calories a bottle with no artificial colors or preservatives. NeuroSonic is said to increase mental alertness and concentration. NeuroSleep promotes restful sleep with melatonin. NeuroSun provides a daily dose of vitamin D, NeuroBliss boosts happiness while helping to eliminate stress, NeuroTrim helps with weight loss with fiber that makes you feel full, NeuroGasm stimulates blood flow to the body (yep, what you’re thinking is right), NeuroSport helps workout performance, and NeuroAqua is a bumped-up take on hydration. You can try a whole sample pack of 12 bottles for just less than $40, or a 12-pack of a specific Neuro Drink flavor for about $30.

The packaging on these sure is cute. The bottles are ergonomically designed and just look smart. Almost like they’ll make you healthier and smarter just by holding them (and they fit nicely in your hand). And its website and slogan “Operating System for Life”? Well, it makes me really, really want to like them, but alas that caveat I spoke of earlier? Well, I just couldn’t get over it, no matter how clever the marketing is. Every Neuro flavor I tried just had that—to me—gross fake sugar taste. Bleck.

With that said, I did prefer the taste of some flavors more than others. NeuroSun? My hands-down favorite with a lemon-lime thing going on. NeuroTrim was also surprisingly tolerable with a grape-soda vibe to it—although it didn’t seem to curb my appetite. NeuroGasm also wasn’t too bad (my husband was sick when I drank it so no report, ya’ll), and NeuroBliss was like a watered-down lemonade. Of all, I felt that NeuroBliss had the most noticeable effect on me, and it did actually help me to chill out after drinking it. (And I tried it when I had PMS!) Flavor-wise, NeuroSonic was my least favorite of the bunch. Just two sips, and I was done with the Splenda-rific aftertaste.

Would I buy these? Eh. I might pick up NeuroSun if it was cloudy for days, and I was badly missing the sun. And I can see drinking the NeuroBliss on days that were high stress, but I’d probably forgo the rest and just get my vitamins and minerals from real, whole food instead of a beverage.

What about you? Have you tried these drinks? Do you like supplemented beverages? Share! —Jenn