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All Is Fair in Love and Workouts…

Why are you reading about dude-related stuff? Because it’s Fit Bottomed Dudes’ Week, that’s why! Click here for all the special posts, and please share with the guys in your life! 


True story: It took my husband (also known as “my Fit Bottomed Dude“) and me 11 years to be able to work out together. And, no, I’m not exaggerating. Eleven freakin’ years.

And let me tell you, we tried everything. At first, things would stick. We’d start a weight-lifting routine and go to the gym together. Or commit to running three times a week side-by-side. Or, we’d get up early to do yoga or shoot hoops before work. I’d drag him to my Spin class—and even when I was teaching it—he wasn’t a fan. (The boy does NOT like traditional group ex.) We even attempted to do Bob’s Workout DVD together. Despite our best intentions, we’d keep on a regular schedule for a few weeks, become either unmotivated or frustrated at each other (for reasons I’ll explain below), and then go back to doing our own individual fitness thing.

For two people who like to be active and generally get along, it was funny that we couldn’t work out together. But, quite simply, we didn’t have the same interests, goals or even purposes for working out. Mix in the fact that I get a bit competitive with him at times (hey, I’m human!) and that he is the MOST RIDICULOUS NATURAL ATHLETE EVER, and it was a recipe for occasional disaster. Seriously, he’d take a three-month running break and still go out and school me in a 5K, even though I’d been steadily running and training to get faster. Hmpf. Used to tick me off every time. So much so that I’d make a snide comment and our egos would end up in a trivial argument. (Usually where I was calling him a “show-off” and he was calling B.S. on the fact that I said I couldn’t run faster. Looking back on all this, he was probably right. But don’t tell him that, okay?)


Now, that’s not to say that we weren’t supportive of each other. In fact, he’s been my biggest cheerleader at races, and I know he’s always respected me for my dedication to a healthy lifestyle. And I am always one to tout just how amazingly springy (he’s bouncy like Tigger, guys) and fast he is. Makes me proud.

But a few years ago, we stopped trying to find something that we could do together at the gym. Sure, we’d walk the dog, do some hikes or play the occasional game of tennis, but we knew that in workouts, we’d both want to lead the team, and, well, it’s hard to have two leaders on a team of two. So we did our own thing. I trained and completed a full marathon (he would very slowly and patiently run the last mile of all of my training runs with me for support—which was super sweet), and he lifted weights in the basement and went on two- to three-mile runs when the weather was nice. Sometimes he’d join me for a yoga DVD. After all our years of not finding a steady workout routine we could do together, we settled into a very flexible and understanding rhythm with no expectations. And it was good!

And then I went to this place. My head exploded, I started drinking the Fit Pit Kool-Aid, and, well, against my better judgement, convinced him to go with me one Saturday about a year ago. Despite the fact that he hated group exercise, he gave it a fair shot (’cause it’s sooo not aerobics class) and LOVED it. Said it reminded him of high school soccer practice. And, like me, he was hooked.

Now, a year later, we have finally found a workout routine that we can do and enjoy together. We make it a point to go to the 5:30 a.m. classes on Monday, Wednesday, Friday so that we can go together. And, it’s pretty awesome. After all of those years of trying to force something that we could do together, we kind of stumbled upon something that really works for us. ‘Cause if you can actually enjoy getting up at 4:45 a.m. three days a week to work out with your life partner, something is definitely working well.

How about you? Do you work out with your partner? Find it’s better to do a workout-for-one? Tell me all about it! —Jenn


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  1. SweatyGirl says:

    I think it is awesome that you could find something that works for both of you!
    I work out 6 days a week, and with a personal trainer 3 of those days. My man does… nothing 🙂

    So for me, the issue has always been just trying to motivate him to even want to work out with me at all, nevermind finding something we can both get into!
    One day, though….
    I have hope 🙂

  2. D says:

    I don’t have a partner but I do workout three times a week with my friends, we used to all go to a boxing/kickboxing gym, but after an accident at the gym and myself buying my own house and not being able to afford 70 bucks a month, we all stopped going there, but one of my friend bought a bag and we do the workouts at her house. It’s fun to workout with someone else.

  3. My ex-husband would never work out me; in fact, he rarely worked out at all. My new partner and I share many workouts (gym, short runs, hikes) but also do our own thing (me: kettlebells, swim, long runs and him: martial arts). I like this balance where we share the passion for exercise and some activities, but we are also free to follow our own passions.

  4. Stephanie says:

    We rarely workout together. First big thing is the differing interests. He likes tennis and at the gym hits the elliptical. Those are two things I’d never be caught dead doing. Second, I use the gym and running as my “me time” and my social time. He and I can hit the movies or go out to dinner later, for now this is the time I spend with other people I like.

    Every once in awhile we’ll go to the same spin class, and I purposely pick a bike far away. He even agreed to do a 5K with me last year. We didn’t run together (different speeds, plus it had a separate male/female start time) but it was fun to share notes afterwards. He doesn’t like running enough to make it a habit, though!

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