Hot Topic: Giving Other Parents Advice

I recently found myself in a parental dilemma, on the giving end of parental advice to another parent. I know, I know. Getting unsolicited advice sucks, like the time my baby-wearing escapades led to me going on the defensive. No one wants to be told the’yre doing it wrong. But I was in a situation where I felt like I had to step in.

I was minding my Facebook business when I came across a picture a friend posted of his daughter in her carseat. She was apparently with a close friend of the family. What struck me about the photo was that the carseat wasn’t properly fastened; it was only loosely placed around the infant.

I thought extensively about this dilemma before drafting a message to my friend. For all I knew, the infant restraint was being loosened to take the baby out of the car. But there was also the chance that the family friend thought the baby was being properly restrained and that the parents didn’t realize it. And there was the possibility that no one knew the baby was being improperly fastened. I weighed the consequences—my conscience should something happen and I hadn’t said anything or an old friend being ticked at me for overstepping. I decided it was worth the risk to the friendship, so I drafted a friendly email stating that he could feel free to tell me to mind my own damn business, but as a crazy pregnant hormonal worrier, I had to mention it. I told him that I had no idea what the situation was but relayed my concerns.

I didn’t hear back.

While I’d really been hoping for a response—any response, really—the lack of a return message doesn’t bother me. Maybe my friend is genuinely offended; maybe he just never had time to respond. But when I ask myself if I’d do it again? Absolutely. Some things are worth speaking up about, no matter the consequences.

Would you have said something in the same situation? —Erin