Unless you’re one of the lucky ones who get knocked up just thinking about ovulating (and I’m not bitter, promise…hehe), it probably took you a few months of “practice” to get the deed done. So for those who are in the baby-making process—especially if that progress is taking months or years, we thought it would be fun to do a little fill-in-the-blank action…
You Know You’re Trying to Get Pregnant When…
1. You speak in acronyms. OPK, TTC, BBT, DPO, AF, TMI, CM, BFP, BFN, EWCM—trying to get pregnant should come with a glossary. Oh, wait. It does!
2. You can say “cervical mucus” in public without a second thought. Not even your partner flinches!
3. You can say “egg white” and not be talking about an omelet. Occasionally, this creates a great bit of confusion at breakfast.
4. You see pregnant women and have one of two thoughts. First thought? “Awww, that’ll be me soon!” Second thought? “Lucky bitch.” Mood and time of your cycle is clearly linked to which response you have.
5. You can pee in a cup on command—and with precision. If only there were peeing-in-small-cup competitions…
6. You virtually sprinkle “baby dust.” The TTC forums are one sparkly glittery place.
7. You have a personal stop-obsessing mantra you use regularly. There are a lot of them out there, but I personally go between praying for the greatest good and focusing on everything I’m grateful for right now. “Stop the insanity!” can work, too, though on less hippity-dippity days.
8. You buy OPK strips and pregnancies tests in bulk. You buy even more when they’re on sale. (And, dude, we’ve found them the cheapest on Amazon!)
9. The advice “Just relax,” makes you want to punch someone. For reals.
10. Any twinge, cramp or tingle makes you wonder, “Am I pregnant?” Then you proceed to “You Know You’re Trying to Get Pregnant” answer No. 7. Or answer No. 12.
11. You send your husband booty calls. At like 10:30 a.m. With the words “OPK” in it.
12. You Google, a lot. Seriously, what did we do before Google?
13. Your whole doctor’s office knows what cycle day you’re on. Hey, sharing is caring!
14. You feel “cautiously hopeful” a lot. Excited yet guarded, you spend lots of time hoping, wishing and praying.
15. You’re absolutely amazed at the miracle of life. Truly the miracle of all miracles!
For those of you who are trying to get pregnant, what would you add to this list? Funny, snarky, silly, serious—we wanna hear ’em! And I’m sprinkling copious amounts of extra sparkly baby dust on all of you future mamas-to-be! —Jenn