I recently read an article on the Martha Stewart Weddings site that featured one of Jenn and I’s favorite spiritual junkies, Gabrielle Bernstein. You’d think with all the world sharing their personal stories and experiences with weddings I wouldn’t be shocked and amazed to hear that Gabby has experienced wedding stress, but I seriously was shocked and then tears of relief hit. Yes, a self-proclaimed tomboy turned into a gal who cries over wedding stuff. Why? Because like Gabby states, weddings come sure-fire packed with three of life’s worst stressors: family, romance and money. (I might throw body image in the mix, too.)
The deal is, I look at married women with awe. In awe that they made it through planning…that they had the love, support and the balls to see it through. Before I got engaged, I truly thought girls were being unbelievably dramatic about how hard it is to plan a wedding. How hard could it be to say yes to the dress, no to the duck and hop the broom? But it’s HARD!
I have had THE worst experience planning my “wedding.” I air quote “wedding” because I still can’t even picture it. I swear to Vera Wang that telling my family I was getting married felt like I was telling them I had taken the family fortune and flushed it down the toilet. I had disgraced the family…I had put a chink in the chain. Then there’s the whole tomboy mentality. I went from chill to thinking I’d die if I didn’t get to rock a dress and say “I do,” in front of my family and friends. I freaked myself out. I can only imagine what my fiance thinks of my Reem Acra tears.
Enter woman I look up to. Glorious Gabby helped console me. I feel so bad that I’ve had arguments with my mom about wedding stuff. (I thought I was alone in my wedding crappiness!) I’m using Gabby’s wedding meditations and making sure to write down how grateful I am for my fiance as well as the friends and family who have lifted me up during this crazy mess. Most importantly I’m going to make peace with myself.
I changed the minute Mark put a ring on my finger. I became a gal who wouldn’t mind wearing a pretty white dress. I think deep down though, I was ashamed of that. The media has shoved the term “bridezilla” so far down our throats that I wanted to get as far away from that stereotype as possible, which led me to being anti-bride. I’m not a bridezilla, but I’m also not burning veils in protest. And that is fine.
We all know stress is a HUGE health bully. I swear I stress and worry, and the next day I wind up with a chest cold. It’s like clockwork. But if I channel that stress into a workout, I’m golden. At the end of a run, I sprint my little heart out (envisioning the end of our wedding planning at the finish line), or I get in that extra rep to sweat out the annoyances that are making stressful homes in my shoulder muscles.
What about you? Are you engaged and currently stressed out of your freaking mind like me? Or are you married with some great tips to help keep the wedding stresses at bay? —Tish