When Is It Time to Expand Your Family?


When is the right time to think about having a baby — again? I am almost positive that there is no right answer to this question. There are families expanding all around me, even our own Fit Bottomed Mama Erin is expecting! This announcement got me to thinking more about my little family and wondering when it’s time to give Evan a playmate.

Much like planning a baby, I recognize there is no perfect time. It’s too hard to wait for special events to pass because new events arise. It feels easier to know when the time isn’t right than to decide when it is right. Is there a time frame when making this decision? I’ve often asked myself this question. I take my brother and my age difference into consideration and wonder if that’s the magic number. Jake and I have talked about this, often. Sometimes we joke while other times we seriously contemplate when we should revisit the idea.

I’ll be honest, I’m scared of pregnancy; partially for selfish reasons. I was exhausted throughout most of my pregnancy, and I cannot imagine feeling that tired and chasing a toddler (Erin, how are you doing this chasing two?!). Then there’s the factor of holding your kiddo while carrying another. How does that work exactly? When you have a belly in the way and your hips are nonexistent because everything is one shape, where does your outside-of-the-womb kiddo fit into the equation? Yes — I seriously am wondering this. Not to mention, the belly grows and your older kiddos’ day-to-day activities do not stop. I remember not being able to reach my feet let alone breathe while bending over — how in the world do I put on someone else’s shoes? But I know it can be done; it’s been done for years!

My biggest worry is not having enough love to go around. My mister takes up every ounce of my everything. I wake up loving on him and go to bed the exact same way. I have a fear of one child feeling left out or like second best (maybe my brother could weigh in on this one, since I am, of course, my mom’s favorite). This is a natural feeling when considering expanding one’s family, right?

I would love to hear from you. Are you deciding to expand your family or have you already taken the plunge? How did you decide when it was go-time? —Jennifer

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  1. kassie says:

    It is hard to decide when! I ask myself this all the time. But I like the whole idea of waiting until your already here kiddo is a little more self sufficient. Being potty trained and able to walk and feed themselves I believe is a good time to think about expanding the fam. Was much easier for me that way.

  2. LindsayH says:

    I could have written this post. I wonder about all of these things as my husband and I contemplating giving our daughter a brother or sister. I have the added factor of unexplained fertility issues and some other minor health issues to complicate things. I am approaching 35 quickly and I don’t want to wait too long after that. I wish there was a magic formula to decide these things for us!