Motherhood: It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times

As a mom, there’s nothing worse than when your baby is sick. Or is in a sleep regression. Or is teething. Or is in a developmental leap. Or has an ear infection. Or — oh my gosh, is it just me or is it always something?!

Over the past few months, I feel like the universe has thrown just about everything at us, one after another — sometimes two at a time! Since Thanksgiving we’ve gone through croup and a double ear infection (hello, urgent care), teething, a sleep regression (the 9-month/10-month sleep regression is NO JOKE), a leap, her learning to pull to stand and cruise (clearly, that must be perfected during naps and at night), another sickness with another ear infection and more teething. Add into that the holidays (with all the events), some health insurance drama and my husband and I both getting sick, too, and it’s like the last few months have been a blur of really sweet and amazing moments sandwiched between way too many 3 a.m. wake-ups, unsuccessful attempts at wiping my daughter’s nose (what is it about wiping noses that they hate so much?) and endless doctor appointments and prescription pick-ups.

You know when Erin wrote this post? I feel her. And I only have one kiddo!

I — even as grateful as I am for being a mom — find myself getting a bit beat down over it. After thing after thing, it’s just like: can we get a break or what?!

And it’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong. But I guess that IS the thing with motherhood — and perhaps even the most curiously unique and beautiful part of it all. Because I’ve never had higher highs or lower lows than I have since becoming a mom. Motherhood has given me a deep sense of joy, purpose and love that I didn’t realize could be experienced, and it’s tested my spirit in ways I couldn’t possibly imagine. Being a mom has given me the best days of my life … and the hardest days of my life.

It has to be what Charles Dickens was actually writing about, right? Motherhood: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

When your baby is unhappy or crying, it feels like (to me at least) a million tiny daggers going after your soul. So when they’re sick and/or don’t feel well, it’s like a constant state of anxiety that you will do anything in your power to fix so that they feel better (like sleep on the floor of her nursery). And with babies in winter, it’s always something (see above). But, the upside to all of that — I’ve found — is to really, no, I mean, really cherish the moments when the entire house is healthy and happy. In winter, it may not happen as much, but even if it’s just for a week — or even part of an afternoon — I am SO, SO, SO grateful for it.

The best of times, the worst of times. I’m just grateful for the healthy and happy times.

How are you and your fam surviving winter? —Jenn