I remember the first time I heard about women coveting the thigh gap. And fitting behind a piece of paper (which we spoofed, of course). I was just confused. Like, WHY?! We all come in different shapes and sizes and while you can eat right and work out and change your shape a little, you still are working with what your mama gave you. And that’s a beautiful thing — a thing that you shouldn’t fight against but rather embrace. Plus, those “ideal” views of beauty are constantly changing. What’s in today may be out tomorrow, so why put your self confidence into something so fleeting and totally random?
Case in point, pocketed armpits. Which are apparently a thing.
I recently was at the gym, and Sheryl asked me if I had them.
Um, is that a really bad band name?
Turns out it’s not, and turns out I do have them. Who knew. Pocketed armpits are when your armpit, well, forms a deep pocket. It basically requires you to have some muscle up top and a wider chest. And while I do lift weights and do pull-ups and all that jazz, I know for a fact that I’ve had pocketed armpits since I was a teen. I vividly remember trying on a bikini at The Limited (that dates me) and not wanting to wear a triangle top because I thought that my chest looked too wide and not feminine enough. Because of this, I didn’t even try on another triangle top swimsuit until just a few years ago.
Remember what I just said about those changing views of beauty? Hashtag truth.
Of course, Sheryl and I had a robust discussion about how ridiculous the whole pocketed armpit thing was, and then I talked to Erin and Kristen about it, too. And it got us all thinking (and laughing — nothing like texting your friends photos of your armpits on a random Tuesday morning). What other ridiculous things could one aspire to that really have little to do with anything else but genetics? Here are a few of our favorites …
Other Ridiculous Attributes to Strive For
- Attached earlobes
- Outie belly button
- Double jointedness
- Being able to wiggle your ears
- Being able to easily do the splits (like, without ever stretching regularly)
- Widow’s peak
- Touching your nose with your tongue
- Raising one eyebrow
- Deep nail beds
What other ridiculous attributes would you add to our list? I just keep trying for an outie, but dang it, I just can’t get good results from my belly button. (LOL forever.) —Jenn