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11 Weird Lessons You Learn as a Triathlete

triathleteAny time you adopt a new hobby, there’s quite a learning curve. In yoga, you learn pretty quickly that those form-fitting clothes aren’t just a fashion statement — they’re a way to make sure you don’t show your bits to the entire class when you go into crow pose, for example.

I was talking to a friend who’s fairly new to triathlon the other day, and we got to laughing about some of the really odd things you tend to learn from experience in your first year or two of the sport. If you’ve got anything to add, either for triathlon or your sport of choice, let’s hear ’em in the comments!

Weird Lessons You Learn as a New Triathlete

  1. Leftover GU is the stickiest substance known to man. Throw those nearly empty packets far, far away. Do not leave them on the floor of your car. Seriously.
  2. Nuun tablets + sparkling water = borderline science project. Have a mop ready.
  3. It’s possible to fit a LOT of snacks in those spandex pockets. You might think your jersey pocket is full, but you can almost definitely fit another Fig Newton in there.
  4. Sweat and snot feel basically the same on your face, so when you see the race photographer, it’s worth giving your nose a quick wipe before you flash a big smile.
  5. Wetsuits sometimes look almost the same inside out, so, you know, pay attention.
  6. A plastic grocery bag is, hands down, the best trick for putting a wetsuit on.
  7. The cool kids take the visors off their bike helmets.
  8. Sports drink bottles sometimes have both outer plastic wrap and an inner seal. (You know how I know that one, right?)
  9. You’re more likely to topple right off your bike when you’re almost at a stop, at a total standstill, or trying to get off your bike after a ride than you are when you’re actually, you know, riding.
  10. Lateral movement late in the run portion of the race is … unlikely. If someone or something is in front of you, it’s probably in their best interest to move, because you almost definitely won’t be able to swerve.
  11. It’s easier to pee during the swim if you relax with the kicking. (Hey, sometimes it’s worth giving up 10 seconds in the water to avoid two minutes in the porta potty!)

What did I miss? —Kristen

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4 Comments
  1. Allie says:

    OMG these are all SO true! And you can never slather on too much saddle cream. Never.

  2. Teresa says:

    Body glide – everywhere to get that wetsuit off quicker and have a faster T1 time… sometimes the best thing to do is keep going… that squirrel is going to hit something… and it might be your back tire… but don’t stop – you’ll cause a crash… let the water bottle go… don’t look back – you’re not going there… 🙂

  3. Melissa says:

    Hilarious!! I had no idea about #7 and now I feel like a dork!