3 Fertility Tips You Haven’t Already Heard

I’m more than six months into the whole TTC-baby-no.-2 thing. And as much I was hoping and praying and wishing that conceiving again wouldn’t require reproductive specialists’ offices and weekly acupuncture visits and Googling pregnancy symptoms endlessly and being sad when you have to bust out the tampons or menstrual cup, that is not my current reality.

Which has led to … feelings. Feelings I’ve had before and am experiencing again.

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But, unlike the three years it took to conceive my daughter, this time I may have similar feelings, but I also have experience and — from being on both sides of things — perspective. Experience and perspective that I keep calling on time and time again to help get me through each two-week wait and generally any time I find myself obsessing.

I’m sharing them today because I sure as heck wish someone had shared them with me five years ago. And they’re certainly not the fertility tips you hear over and over again. They’re fertility tips with heart and soul. And ones that I swear worked for me with getting pregnant the first time. In fact, once I actually started using these and — more importantly — believing them to be true (with the help of a fertility doctor and acupuncture, too), the magic happened. Hopefully here pretty soon, they’ll work their magic again. Check ’em out.

3 Fertility Tips You Haven’t Already Heard a Million Times Before

1. A “no “isn’t a “never” … it’s a “not yet.” Getting a negative pregnancy test can feel beyond defeating and even torturous at times. Getting your period can feel like the end of the world. And it is the end of that cycle of trying, which sucks. Definitely feel your feelings, but don’t see that negative result on that pee stick as a “no” or a “never.” Instead, reframe your thinking to it meaning “not yet.” Do whatever you can to stay hopeful and focused on the future — whenever that future may be.

2. See pregnant women around you as a blessing/sign. I remember going to Trader Joe’s and it feeling like EVERY WOMAN THERE WAS PREGNANT BUT ME. Same when I’d go on Facebook or was at any party. It felt almost like the universe was trying to throw it in my face that I couldn’t get pregnant. But, again, with a change in perception, I began to see hordes of pregnant women around me as a blessing and — as hippity dippity as this sounds — a sign that I was the next one to get knocked up. Now, when I see pregnant women, I try to soak up that energy they’ve got — hey, maybe it’ll rub off? (At the least, it’s simply a happier and more pleasant way to see the world when you’re TTC!)

3. Make feeling good your no. 1 priority. We recently talked to Bev Cooks in an interview for our podcast (episode coming up in a few weeks!), and she said something about her fertility journey and struggles that really resonated with me because I did the same thing: do whatever you can to make yourself feel good. And it’s so darn true. When you’re trying to get pregnant and it’s not happening, you can feel deflated, depressed and even ashamed or embarrassed. Which is a terrible way to live! So the more you can do to make yourself feel good — listen to upbeat music, get a massage, go out with your friends — the better. You’re doing a lot and probably putting a lot of pressure on yourself, so make time to just be.

Have any other fertility tips for the mind and heart? Leave ’em in the comments for all of us going through this. We’re stronger together, yo. —Jenn