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What’s Really Stopping You From Being Happy?

The universe is talking to you. Are you listening?

We are.

Not sure what we mean? For example, when buying my first house, it seemed like every TV show I watched had an episode with characters buying, selling, house-hunting, or moving. When training for a race, suddenly people I hardly knew — and who I definitely didn’t know were runners — started coming out of the woodwork to share their experiences.

It’s a lot like the whole Facebook ads thing, where you just sooooort of think about how you could stand to buy a new bra and — BAM — your feed is filled with ads for undergarments. Except, in this case, it’s happening in all different aspects of life, not only a slightly creepy social media platform and has nothing to do with your lingerie.

And right now, the universe is talking to us in a big way about joy — specifically, about the unconditional nature of it.

This topic has popped up in several books that have crossed my path lately (including The Untethered Soul, as recommended to us in this podcast ep), and we had a great big chat about it at the 109 Women Empowerment retreat during a workshop focusing on reclaiming our joy with Shirin Eskandani. So, clearly, we wanted to share the message with you guys.

Because unconditional joy? It. Is. Rad.

Here’s the deal. Pretty much all of us want to be happy, right? But what would it take for you to be happy — like, truly and fully joyful — right this minute? Would you be happy if you had a certain amount of money in your bank account? Fit into a certain dress? Could run a marathon? Felt supported by your partner? Were more successful in your career? Lived somewhere else?

If you said yes to any of those things — or came up with you own answer — then, well … you don’t actually want to be happy. You’re putting qualifiers on your happiness. You’re placing hurdle after hurdle between you and your joy.

Because, guess what? Even if all those things happen — you meet the right partner, you live in the perfect house, you’re fast, you’re strong, you suddenly find yourself able to sing like Mariah Carey — there will always be another obstacle in the way.

Those things, as lovely as they might sound, and as happy as you might feel upon achieving or attaining them, will never be the source of your joy. That can only come from you — and it can only happen by dropping the “ifs” and the “whens.” Your circumstances don’t need to be perfect in order for you to experience total joy, at least in this moment.

And the more you choose to feel joy in the moment, the easier it becomes, even when times are tough. (Because, ready to have your mind blown? Even if everything around you is falling apart, feeling upset and stressed out about it won’t actually fix anything. And choosing to feel joy won’t hurt anything. If anything, it might give you more strength to face what needs to be faced.)

That’s not to say everyone should be happy all the time. It’s okay to feel sad, and there’s nothing wrong with feeling angry when a situation calls for it. But is that the emotion you want to hold onto when you leave that situation? Is that what you want fueling the other aspects of your life? If you’re not being swallowed by your emotions and you have the choice, wouldn’t you rather choose to find joy?

So, let us ask again: What’s really standing between you and your happiness right this minute? Can you choose to experience happiness right now, in this instant? –Kristen

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  1. akash says:

    feeling upset and stressed out about it won’t actually fix anything.

  2. This needs to be said and I am glad you wrote about! Great post.

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