8 Things to Never Ask a Stay-at-Home Mom
Kara Kramer is the hilarious mom of two behind It’s a Dog Lick Baby World, and we’re excited to add her voice to the Fit Bottomed mix because she’s doing the nearly impossible: Fitting in fitness while she works out of the home. She’s been joining us most weeks, and makes us laugh every time.
If you read my first post about things to never ask a working mom, you’re prepared for the “stay at home mom” edition. I held that prestigious job title for five years so I had a chance to hear a wide variety of reactions. In my experience, I had a pretty positive reception to telling people that I wasn’t working, which is interesting on a anthropological level. Why are we harder on working moms than SAHMs? That may have been just my experience, so let’s get to the list:
1. So what do you do all day?
Do you honestly want a detailed blow by blow of our day, or are you just trying to remind me that you can’t even fathom what it’s like to not have a job? Do you ask the same question of someone who works full time in a daycare? Spoiler: we do basically the same fucking thing, but with less oversight and a whole lot less pay.
2. Oh, since you’re at home during the week, you can do [fill in the blank errand].
Yes, because doing things around town with tiny children is such a breeze. When I was a SAHM, going to the post office was something I dreaded. Have you ever taken kids on a “simple” errand?
Now that I’m working, I can just run out at lunch (by myself) if I need to go and it’s so much easier.
3. Oh, what you’re doing is so great. It’s really the hardest job.
No, it’s not. Staying home and taking care of my own children full time was a privilege. It’s like living an eternal weekend. The biggest (only?) drawback is the pay and benefits. It’s great that you’re trying to validate my existence, but let’s ease back on the patronizing.
4. I’d stay home too, but you know … I have a career.
Thanks for assuming that I made this choice based on my absolute lack of career prospects.
5. If you’re tired, you can just nap!
You bet your sweet fancy ass that I did. I miss nap time.
6. I could never stay at home, I’d miss adult interaction too much!
I’m really doubting how much you interact with adults if you think you’d miss it.
7. You must be so busy!
No. I don’t have a job. Stop patronizing me. My weekdays were what my weekends are now as a working mom. It’s not like I was working in the salt mines.
8. Well, of course you have time to work out like you do. You don’t have a job!
Then why are there so many SAHMs complaining about not having time to work out?
Pick one people, pick one.
I’ve always felt like it’s taboo to loudly admit that I thought being a SAHM was a sweet gig that was in no way, shape, or form “the hardest job.” If that’s the party line, then I apologize.
SAHMs, what is the worst question anyone has ever asked you? —Kara