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The 13 Stages of Handing Out Halloween Candy


When I was a kid, I lived far enough out in the country that we didn’t get trick-or-treaters. Ever. Considering our nearest neighbor was over a quarter of a mile away and down a steep hill, it was never a surprise, but still, I always wondered what it would be like to be one of the houses everyone went to on Halloween.
Nowadays, I live in a busy neighborhood and get to experience this every year — which means that, every year, I buy candy to hand out. (Apparently, though, I don’t hand out the most common candy in my state — who knew?) I’ve noticed that we go through several stages with that candy, and I’m betting my home isn’t the only one to experience this.

Stage 1: Early October

Oh, it’s October! I guess I should start looking for deals on candy. Or maybe I’ll buy something delicious but healthier. Or I could give out toys! I have loads of time to figure this out — no rush.

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Stage 2: Late October

OMG, Halloween is right around the corner. I need to buy candy — any candy. Now!

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Stage 3: The day before Halloween

I have such amazing willpower. All this candy in the house, and I’m not even opening a bag. I am an oak.

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Stage 4: Halloween

The kids will be here at any time! I’d better open a bag. And maybe I should taste just one.

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Stage 5: Halloween, later

One of each, I mean.

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Stage 6: Halloween, even later

Did I try that one? I’d better make sure.

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Stage 7: Halloween, near the end of trick-or-treating

Here, take the candy. Take all the candy. Save me from myself.

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Stage 8: Halloween night

Wait, how did we end up with leftover candy? Ugh, I never want to see it again.

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Stage 9: The morning after Halloween

YES! We still have candy!

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Stage 10: Two hours later

No, seriously, never want to see this stuff again.

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Stage 11: Two hours after that

*strategically portions out leftover candy, delivers it to various offices and organizations*

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Stage 12: Later that night

I’m a new person. I am so excited to get back to snacking on nourishing foods. Give me all the veggies!

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Stage 13: The next day

Aww. I miss having candy around.

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Any of these stages seem familiar to you guys? I’m currently staring down Stage 2.Kristen

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1 Comment
  1. Lisa says:

    Stage 2 here too. Tomorrow is buy the candy day. Skittles, really?