From Jenn

Is Weight-Loss Hurting Your Relationship?

Credit: nattu

Weight-loss is tricky business, especially when you’re in a relationship. After all, many people fall in love because they share common interests, such as watching the same sitcoms every Thursday night, going out for rich Italian food or playing video games together. However, what happens when one person in the relationship swaps his or her Thursday night TV-watching for group cycling? Or decides that ordering roasted chicken and steamed veggies is a better option than creamy fettuccine alfredo? Or that the Wii Fit is actually more fun than Super Mario Brothers? I smell relationship trouble a-brewin’.

Continue reading to see if weight-loss is hurting your relationship

Jenn



Comments

  1. Crystal says

    I ended up 70 pounds overweight 3 years into my marriage. When we met he made me believe he had a healthy lifestyle that was similar to mine. On day one of the marriage as he sat in front of the tv playing video games for hours I realized that wasn’t the case. I slowly slipped into his unhealthy lifestyle of eating out a lot and watching far too much tv. Last July when I hit 210 lbs on the scales (I was 160 lbs when we got married) I finally decided I had enough and needed to get my old self back. I wanted to feel fit and healthy again.

    From July 09 to Feb 10 I dropped 70 lbs. On May 16th I ran my first full marathon coming in at 3:59:12!! I broke 4 hours on my first marathon!!! I came in 144/373 overall, 37/148 for all women and 9/27 for my age group! June 6th I raced my first half marathon and my time was 1:56:12, placed 18/99 in my division and 142/908 overall. This fall I am looking to qualify for the 2011 Boston Marathon.

    It is such an amazing feeling to not only have found myself again but to have surpassed anything that I thought was possible for me! I have inspired many friends, new and old, to lose weight, get healthy, start running.

    ….my husband moved out in April.

  2. Miranda says

    Actually, my boyfriend and I have both gained weight since we started dating almost four years ago. This is normal though and now we have both been doing a weight loss routine together. We started at the beginning of may and together have lost 26 pounds. :) It’s a lot easier when you have someone to go through it with and someone to keep you on track.

  3. FBG Fan says

    I get angry when I read about partner’s that don’t support…the ones who sabotage and make snide comments to keep a gal down. Not fair, not cool.

    Crystal, you rock!!! I’m sorry he couldn’t realize he had a good thing, but you deserve someone who wants to frolic in the goodness with you.

  4. says

    I was in a long term relationship and finally realized that I had gained quite a bit of weight during it (50+ pounds). I started working out, trained for a 5K and slowly began to realize that maybe he wasn’t what I wanted anymore. I didn’t want to spend all night playing video/computer games- that I actually wanted to go out running/hiking/being active. I begged him to join me and he never did. He was very supportive of me making changes but wouldn’t go that extra “mile” for himself. We finally broke up (on good terms) and I have recently started dating a guy who actually wants to be active. He is a runner and has lost quite a bit of weight in the past so he understands how important it is to me to be active. I’m still a bit in shock of what a difference it is to have someone (more importantly having that “someone” also be your boyfriend!) to go running with. My friends have told me that I’m a much happier person with the new boyfriend. :) I tend to agree that hes a better fit for me than the ex (I had to giggle to myself when the ex agreed as well)

  5. says

    When I told my husband I wanted to start eating healthier & working out, his response was “yeah, ok” but I don’t think he realized I was truly serious. He’d occasionally tell me he was proud of me or that I was doing a good job, but at the same time he was buying doughnuts and ice cream at the grocery store and trying to ply me with all things unhealthy. It was extremely hurtful. I think it was kind of the “last straw” for my marriage.

    Course, when he said he wanted to move out and I didn’t beg him to stay, he realized I was serious about the changes I was making and I wasn’t going to stand for being bullied into doing things I didn’t want to do or surrounding myself with people who didn’t have the same goals as me. THAT is when he decided to eat healthier.

    But, that didn’t last long – as soon as I said I was filing for divorce, he went right back to drinking all day long and eating greasy fast food.

    Me? I’m much happier (and 30 lbs. lighter) now.

  6. says

    I was already on my healthy journey before I met my BF and he’s been 100% supportive of my goals. He has his own fitness goals (like losing 10 pounds) but we support each other and do active things together.

    The only thing that causes conflict in our relationship is that he thinks I’m too hard on myself. He says I work out too much. I feel like my routine is fine.

  7. Carol says

    My hubby has been so very supportive during my weight loss. Unfortunately, he’s not thrilled with my shrinking cup size; I’ve lost 100 pounds and gone from an F cup to a C/D.

  8. Crystal says

    Thanks for the support FBG Fan. It’s been a rough road but I am a much happier and stronger person for what I have been through. I am LOVING the new friends that I have that are like minded! It’s amazing how much different your life can be when you surround yourself with people that have common interests and goals.

  9. says

    eating is obviously something couples like to do together, so i can see why it would be hard if one was now not sharing the same food choices (meal plans become harder.) also, a lot of the time when one person is making bad food choices, they want the next person to join them so they don’t feel as guilty. (peer pressure!!) maybe dieting makes you “less fun”.

    and then there’s the whole “why are you flaunting that brownie in my face when you know i can’t have it??” like a few months ago, i was on a 3 week detox from all sugar, and my husband would ask me DAILY if i wanted certain things he knew full well i couldn’t eat. (“hey hun, wanna do Thai later?”) i wasn’t in the least bit tempted, but it drove me BONKERS because i thought he wasn’t a)taking me seriously, or b) being sensitive to my feelings. or c) thought he might be trying to test my willpower. so yeah, when you change your eating habits it can be challenging as a couple. all you can do is stand your ground and say NO to the cookie dough!

  10. says

    We’ve all done it. You flip through all the fashion magazines, wishing you could look just a little more like some of those girls. But no matter what you do, you can’t seem to squeeze into that size 0 (coz really, who can???) Instead of torturing yourself with goals that are unachievable, why not start focusing on leading a healthier, happier lifestyle? Take a look at what’s on the minds of girls in regards to body image and find out what can be done about your body insecurities! Visit here! http://www.directoryofnaturalhealth.com/natural-health-topics/weight-loss-and-the-dream-for-a-perfect-body

  11. shirice says

    i too was quite thin when i met my current husband. everyone knows the drill, had a few children gained a bunch of weight ect. after being together for 10 years i had gained 70+ extra pounds! after beeting myself up and losing my entire slef esteem, i decided enough was enough and was going to lose the xtra poundage. i started eating healthy and jogging initially. i ran 7 days a week and eventually became really good at it. after losing alot of weight i started lifting weights and continued losing. long story short, a year later i have went from 190 and size 14 to 130 and a size 0-3(depends on the pants) i have gained enormous amount of muscle mass and am currently trtying to realy bulk for explosive arms! as for the husband, my story is a little different, he has went from my biggest deterent in weight loss to my biggest alli in weight loss. initially he was very discruntal about my weight loss and snarled unsupportive comments about my body. then after about 6 months or so, he became my biggest supporter! currently he has lost 35 pounds and helps me put my workouts together as well as pushes me to go the extra mile.

  12. Stephanie says

    I hope no one out there gets discouraged by the lot of us who say “I got healthy and got rid of the guy” because that’s my story too. We both joined WW, it clicked with me, but not for him.

    Our breakup had nothing to do with our diverging health, but more to do with our diverging lifestyles overall. Thankfully the guy I’m married to met me after I got healthy and well, and while he was already of that mindset, my focus actually helped him get even healthier. It’s now just a part of who we are together.

  13. says

    This is quite a provocative subject, but worth discussing whether the partner is male or female. I’ve certainly been with women who didn’t support my weight loss plan. In some cases, it may be ignorance. If you’ve cut back on carbs and are eating paleo, as I’m working on, many people just don’t understand, and aren’t willing to learn. It’s not what the mass media tells them, so they don’t understand I don’t want to eat rice cakes – yuck!

    Either partner can be threatened when the other one starts changing in unexpected ways. If you have a good relationship, you can try to lead by example. But of course not all relationships are good . . .

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