So guess what happens when you go on the record saying that you never want to taste another sip of coconut water ever again? You have coconut water companies like Greater > Than try to convince you that it’s not the most horrid drink on earth. (In that vein, bah, I just hate chocolate and wine and snuggly socks—yuck, never again!) So while I said I’d never try it again, well, I’m a glutton for punishment. Because when it comes to coconut water, I’d love to be proven wrong. Was I? Read on…
Before I get into the review, funny story. So the box of flavored coconut waters arrived, and I cracked it open. My 2-year-old grabbed one and attempted to twist off the cap. I threw it back in the box and went on with my day. Later, I headed into the kitchen to find a massive Berry Blue puddle. Apparently my daughter had broken the cap’s seal, and I hadn’t noticed. I cleaned it up, thinking that coconut water hates me, too. Later, I was totally convinced it hated me when I was down in the basement and looked up at the ceiling to see a small water spot on a ceiling tile. It was a new water mark because we’d recently had our basement ceiling updated. I remembered back to the spill. Sure enough, the water had managed to make it through a crack near the baseboards all the way through to the basement. Not the company’s fault at all, but, um, coconut water? Sorry I ever insulted you.
This all happened before I knew the offending drink was even coconut water. So I took an unknowing sip of Berry Blue and my palate was highly offended as well. I may have yelled, “THIS IS COCONUT WATER!” to my husband.
When I finally settled down, I gave the stuff an open-minded try. I swear. The Greater > Than drinks come in several varieties, so I tasted on Berry Blue (the basement saboteur), Tropical, Orange-Mango, Grape and Original. Shockingly, I didn’t die from drinking them. Apparently, adding a little beet sugar helps out a great deal in the “not going to kill me if I drink it” department. Berry Blue was actually my least favorite. But the Original version has a really smooth mouth-feel and is sweet but not sickeningly so. It also left none of that nasty aftertaste I hate so much. Grape and Tropical were definitely my faves; they reminded me of generic grape and tropical drinks of my childhood (and I mean that in the nicest way—they were my favorite!). Orange-Mango was fine, but I definitely preferred the others.
Of course, the drinkable, non-nauseating coconut water comes at a caloric and sugar cost. Most of the bottles pack 80 calories and 15 to 17 grams of sugar. But is that a price worth paying if you love coconut water’s benefits but want to hide its nasty taste? Abso-freaking-lutely!
Are you nuts for coconut water? Or need to hide its benefits in a little flavor? —Erin