Give me a pitchfork and a torch because I’m on a hunt for a terrible monster! The Gluten Monster!
Okay, a bit dramatic, but I live for drama, so it’s all good. I swear I’ve been on a witch hunt for gluten since I first began the alkaline diet. Emma Goodman, my beloved nutritionist, told me gluten can stay in your body for up to six months. That fact combined with all of the alarmingly negative effects the stuff can do to your body set me in motion. A motion to see if what I’m eating has gluten in it. What I learned? Gluten is everywhere and in everything. It’s frustrating how prevalent the stuff is. When I learned it can even pop up in vodka, I about busted a gut (no pun intended.)
That’s when I decided that I was going to get responsible in regards to reading labels and hunting the pesky stuff down. I swear food peeps get tricky with how they sprinkle it in to the ingredients. You’ll rarely see the word “gluten.” So I had to get clever and put on my research hat.
Words That Mean “Gluten”
According to the lovely blogger/author Brittany Angell, these words can stand alone or be sprinkled into other words such as “barley grass” or “disodium wheatgermamido Peg-2 Sulfosuccinate.” See how sneaky gluten can be? If you read Brittany’s whole post, you’ll see a long and informative list of all the other gluten-ous words to watch out for.
I swear my friends think I’ve gone crazy, but I care not. I’ve got my pitch fork in hand ready as a mother trucker to avoid the g-word like it’s the plague! Gluten Monster begone!
Care for a challenge? I dare you to hunt for gluten for a week. Everything you eat, check the labels and when you go to a restaurant ask about gluten-free foods. The list of what you actually CAN eat will astonish you. Come back here and report your findings! —Tish