How to Stop With the Self-Sabotage

Self-sabotage.

What does it even mean? And why would anyone stand in the way of their own awesomeness?

Gosh, on a conscious level, it makes no sense, does it? Of course you wouldn’t intentionally self-sabotage. But what about those little bad habits that creep up just under the surface of your consciousness? Can you spot those? Or even better, can you stop them?

Here’s what I’m talking about:

You want to embark on a healthier lifestyle, like, perhaps you want to try out a more Paleo-inspired eating habit … but you’ve always got just one more dinner party or event, just around the corner, that you have to attend first.

Perhaps every time you get excited by a potentially quality romantic relationship, you believe it too good to be true and break it off before it ever really starts.

Or maybe you’ve got a dream to write a novel, but you’re immobilized by the need to have it perfectly planned out before you even start.

Girl, I’m a guilty culprit, too. I’ve stood in my own way so many times it’s just silly. But over the years, I’ve developed a knack to spot it and stop it before the sabotaging behavior starts.

The first step is to notice when this pesky little self-sabotage goblin comes up. And giggle. (It’s almost never a good idea to go to battle with yourself, so a little humor totally helps).

The truth is, when you self-sabotage, you’re likely trying to protect yourself from harm and heartbreak. You mean well! Really, you do.

So try to understand what message your well-intentioned goblin is sending as it gets in the way of your glory story. Perhaps it’s only a message of caution, to be sure you’re appropriately prepared for this next step.

Or perhaps it’s what many describe as an “upper limit problem,” that phenomenon where a person becomes comfortable with a certain amount of success and resists the risks needed to advance further (a sort of self-imposed glass ceiling), for fear of failure.

And once you’ve figured out why you’re holding back, it’s time to convince yourself of your worth.

Ask yourself what it would take to be ready to start that new healthy habit. Ask what kind of woman would be ready for that quality relationship. Ask what needs to happen before you can start on that novel.

And get to work. Do those things. Be that person. Starting now.

Soon, you’ll begin to trust yourself more deeply … from within. And you’ll bust through that self-imposed glass ceiling in all your glory.

So, how are you going to get out of your own way? —Sara