Breastfeeding in Public: What’s the Big Fuss?

Several years ago, before I was a mother, I was selling a few items at my apartment complex’s community garage sale. A mother was there, walking around, bare-breasted, while feeding her baby. I wasn’t offended, but I had the distinct feeling of “Oh my wow,” and I remember not knowing where to look. Now that I’m a breastfeeding mother, I think back to my shock, laugh at myself, and commend the mom for doing what she needed to do, even if she was not at all discreet.

I guess there are many reasons why people get offended by breastfeeding in public—just look at the fuss over Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction. Some people may not want to see a boob in public, much less (gasp!) a nipple. Maybe some people are grossed out by the idea of a bodily fluid. Maybe some people think any sort of milk is gross. Or maybe those who are anti-breastfeeding-in-public are just really vocal. Maybe they’re actually the minority?

I read countless stories about breastfeeding women being asked to leave public places, or being asked not to breastfeed, and it riles me up every time. This CBS News bit about “9 Places ‘They’ Say Not to Breast-Feed” in particular made my blood boil. It is so ridiculous that I can’t believe a reputable news organization would even run it as filler on its website. Some of these “awkward breastfeeding situations” include in front of men, in front of kids, at a friend’s house and the all-inclusive “in public.” And while you should avoid these places, also make sure you avoid the public bathroom because of the germs. So that leaves, a whole lotta NOWHERE a breastfeeding mom should feed her baby except for at home.

One of my favorite gems out of all of the ridiculousness in the article was this:

The law in many states says moms have the right to breast-feed their children at the dinner table, but is a public restaurant really the best place for mother’s milk?

Advocates say serve it up, but some doctors worry that if a mom has an infectious illness like HIV, her breast milk can spread the infection to others. So, moms should be careful to keep breast milk off surfaces.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

While it is true that HIV can be spread through breast milk, the greatest risk is breast milk from an infected mother to her child, not from a breastfeeding mother at a restaurant who gets a drop of milk on a table (which if you know anything about breastfeeding is a highly unlikely scenario anyway).

I’ve fed my daughter on the beach, in restaurants and coffee shops, on airplanes, in front of men, in front of children, and recently, in the American Museum of Natural History (there’s a cozy spot near the dinosaurs). I’ve never been asked to leave an establishment—heck, no one even notices what I’m doing 90 percent of the time. I’m discreet, and I’ve gotten so talented at feeding in public that, if I’m wearing the right thing, I barely even cover my daughter up.

Breastfeeding in public isn’t something anyone does for fun. Moms do it out of necessity. And almost every mom I’ve ever seen nurse in public has been super discreet about it. (There are always exceptions, as seen in my experience above.) This woman who commented on the CBS article said it best:

I don’t leave the house thinking, “Hmm…I wonder how many people I can force to look at my breasts today” or “Damn, I’m feeling sexy in my post-partum body, everyone else should see!” Believe me, when a mother nurses her child in public the LAST thing she’s thinking about is whose delicate sensibilities she can offend.

I have a feeling the same people who flip out about breastfeeding in public are the same sensitive souls who flip out if a baby is screaming in public because he or she is hungry. —Erin