Pregnancy Pains, Woes and Wishes
For the last 30 weeks I have been nauseated, struggling to keep my face from turning green and my food from coming up. I have started to wobble instead of walk, and I rely on my toddler to help reach my shoes. I feel confident that this is my last pregnancy, so I feel that I should embrace it and feel humbled by every struggle and each ache and pain. I feel that instead of moan about my nausea, I should focus on what my body is doing, and has done. Instead of cry about the excruciating pain I feel in my lower back daily and the horrific tightening I get in my lumbar while experiencing Braxton Hicks, I should take a deep breath and say, “It’ll never be like this again.” Yet, I feel guilty admitting that I do not feel humbled. I feel as though I am counting my pregnancy the wrong way … I’m counting down instead of adding the weeks.
I am beyond excited (as well as anxious and absolutely nervous) about welcoming our second child into this world. I cannot wait to hold her and love her and kiss on her just like I do our mister every day. There is no better feeling in the world than the comfort of our children, no matter their age or size. Pregnancy, however, does not give me the same joy and excitement. After our journey to Evan, I feel as though I should embrace it more and complain less. I have so much to be thankful for — especially this pregnancy. I am not experiencing the amount of edema I did with Evan and so far, I’m showing no signs of preeclampsia. But I’m ready for our baby to be here. Scratch that, I was ready yesterday! I do not want to rush the process, but if it could speed along a wee bit I would not complain.
Tell me about your additional pregnancies, did you find them more difficult with a toddler to chase around, too? —Jennifer
Comments
This short article feels like you’ve just plucked my own thoughts from my mind to put into print. I am currently 34 weeks pregnant with our 2nd child – 4th pregnancy, but 2nd child. We’ve had our bumps along the road when it came to conceiving and then having pregnancies stick. We were blessed with a beautiful baby boy al,out 4years ago now and look forward to welcoming another baby into our family in a few weeks, and I truly feel blessed because of it. But if I’m being completely, truly, 100% honest – I really don’t like actually BEING pregnant. From the early weeks on, I was incredibly sick, including a couple trips to the ER for dehydration from throwing up so much and not being able to replenish fluids. I survived on toast and apple juice for months when I wasn’t hurling. I spent months not wanting to leave the sanctuary of my home because everywhere else I went had smells of food, people or just general stink that would trigger my gagging reflex and start the hurling all over again. By the time that “stage” passed, which was only recently, I’m now dealing with aches and pains that are so uncomfortable – more so than with my first. I actually dread going to bed, despite being exhausted and falling asleep on my feet, because the process of getting into and out of bed is SO awkward that I feel like I need a hoist to lift me out. Not to mention that there is NO position that is comfortable for longer than 30 minutes. And then when I finally find sleep, my bladder insists that I roll out of bed AGAIN. And then there’s my son… My wonderful son, who is my helper when mommy can’t reach to floor to pick things up or make another trip up or down the stairs to get something I forgot. I tell myself I’m preparing him to be a big brother by taking on responsibilities as a family member, but I start to question if I’m taking advantage of his youth and willingness/eagerness to help. Just the other day I had an incident where I sneezed and my bladder decided I couldn’t hold those keegle muscles tightly enough… So I peed myself enough to need a change of underwear. I ran to the bathroom and called out for my husband. Unfortunately my son came in instead shaking his head and tells me “Mommy, if you have to go potty, stop, and go right away. Do you need one of my bedtime pull-ups?” I laughed and cried on the toilet. I am ready to be done. I am ready for the stage of sitting up for midnight and early morning feelings, just so that I can enjoy this baby and not feel like my body can’t do anything for itself.
B’shaah tovah!
I have heard some of these things from a lot of different women. It is important to be honest. You do not have to like your pregnancy to be able to love your baby. After all, you get a beautiful child out of it, and you endured and saw it through. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself; if the whole process was easy, there would be even more people on the planet. Of course, it is also okay to embrace different pains and aches, as they will let you know that you’re alive and that you are carrying precious cargo. It is nice that you were so truthful in this post. Never stop being true to yourself.
Comments are closed.