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Why I Stopped Counting Calories


I’m sure you’ve heard of the elusive calorie deficit — you know, calories in minus calories out — the Holy Grail of weight loss. But as elementary as this magical mathematical equation may seem, I’ve learned that there’s a seriously dark side of counting calories that’s not often discussed.

My first attempts to solve for “x” began at age 13. It’s funny but I don’t recall ever worrying about my weight until I actually started counting calories.

Over the years that followed, I tried attacking this problem from both sides — restricting what I ate (calories in) and chasing the burn (calories out). Here’s what happened:

The Problems with Restricting Calories In

I became obsessed with food. Food was seriously all I thought about. I became fixated on my next meal, often watching the clock and counting the minutes until I could eat again. When I wasn’t thinking about food or eating micro meals of “low-fat” and “low-calorie” chemical-laden food imposters, I was adding up the calories in those meals. It was a full-time job.

Eating was stressful. I’d plan my meals out days in advance and if my husband decided he wanted to eat out, total calorie allotments had to be rearranged to accommodate the change … UGH! And before I could take a bite of anything, I had to know the exact portion size to determine the calorie count. Quite frankly, it was maddening.

I developed an unhealthy relationship with food. I was unsatisfied by the foods I ate so I craved more. Then, I began to associate satisfaction with a quantity of food that I wasn’t allowed to have — therefore, satisfaction seemed unattainable. Food became a double-edged sword.

The Problems with Chasing The Burn

I began to view exercise as a punishment for eating. When I screwed up the “calories in” side of the equation (which I was really good at), I’d balance it out on the “calories out” side. So I only really had to work out if I was “bad”. Working out really sucks when you’re beating yourself into the ground to make up for what you’d eaten in the past few days.

I’d chose workouts based solely on calorie burn. I knew that high-intensity-interval-training (HIIT) classes burned the highest number of calories. So I did them seven days a week, exchanging the workouts that (a) helped me reach my own goals and that (b) I actually enjoyed — running, yoga and strength training — for maximum calorie burn. Before long, I was totally burnt out, injured and drifting further away from my goals.

My calorie deficit cost me more than just fat. Every time I cashed in a muscle-building strength workout for more HIIT, I wasn’t just burning fat — I was torching muscle tissue as well. BIG MISTAKE. My metabolism tanked, my strength and stability began to evaporate, and I ended up with multiple stress fractures in my right leg from all the balls-to-the-wall HIIT … awesome!

I was missing out on the benefits of other activities. Over time, it became more difficult for me to recover in between those high-intensity workouts and my resting heart rate began to rise. Turns out, the substantial reduction in running (steady state cardio) was decreasing the efficiency of my heart, making it tougher to recover.

I overdid it. A deficit of 250 calories is great but 600 is even better … NOT! I’d work out multiple times per day at the highest possible intensity to maximize the burn. Coupled with a calorie restriction, it was a recipe for disaster.

What I’ve Learned

Looking back now, I can clearly see that I’d implemented an extremely unhealthy grading system for my life. The reality is that I could’ve had a fabulous day — received a promotion, gotten married, won a Nobel Prize — but if I blew my caloric allotment for the day, I was angry with myself.

For years, I dwelled in this land of hopelessness until one day I decided to stop the insanity. Now, at age 35, I no longer care about calories in or out. I eat real food when I’m hungry and I do workouts that help me reach my goals and don’t make me miserable. I’m now happy, healthy and in the best shape of my life.

With all that math gone now, I’m able to focus on what’s good for my body and mind, and when my dear husband sends me a Death By Chocolate gift basket to let me know that he is proud of me, I don’t get all bent outta shape and angry at the poor guy or even feel bad if a large portion (or the whole thing) ends up in my belly.

What are your successful long-term strategies for weight maintenance? Please share! —Alison

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  1. Danielle says:


    Thank you for this. This put me in an amazing mindset today, that “it’s okay” to not get caught up with the calorie tracking of the in’s and out’s. It opens it up to have a much more positive relationship with nutrition and exercise. Thank you!

    1. Alison says:

      Thank YOU for your feedback! I’m so glad it resonated with you and allowed you to give yourself permission to have a better relationship with food and fitness. Don’t spend your life doing things that don’t work for YOU or otherwise just make you miserable – that is the message for sure! Wishing you so much luck with your journey and thanks again for sharing!

  2. Emily says:

    Omg. As I was reading this list, I was like, “yep, that’s me. Yep, that’s me. YEP THATS ME!” Every single thing.

    It’s terrible! Why do we do these things to ourselves?? It’s so freeing to stop.

    1. Alison says:

      I KNOW!! It’s so awful but it’s super comforting to know that we’re not the only ones, right? Could not agree more that it’s unbelievably freeing to just knock it off and live a balanced life without all the math and insanity. Thanks for your feedback!!

  3. I’m with you, I am so much less stressed and pay attention to hunger and satiety much more when I don’t count calories. I do continue to weigh myself every day, so I feel that is a way to keep myself in check.

  4. Megan says:

    While reading your story, I can really relate! I’m still struggling, although I know I need go stop worrying about calories I always end up going for something low calorie. If I ever do pick something that isn’t low calorie then I feel guilty and miserable after. Please share how you finally got over this, I just want to be happy and enjoy my food!

  5. Laurie says:

    Love. Love. Love. And, agree whole-heartedly. I have dealt with many of the same issues and have had the same internal conversations and battles!

  6. Anna says:

    I had these same issues & also gave up counting calories & weighing myself for 10 years. Now, at 36, I’ve just starting doing both again. At first I wasn’t sure if I could handle it, but my attitude has changed. It’s actually refreshing and feels so easy to use an app, set a healthy calorie goal, and aim to meet my goal everyday. I feel like I’ve healed & it’s such a relief.

  7. JenExoo says:

    This sounds great, but someone trapped in this cycle needs more than “stop obsessing about calories” to help—be specific about what to do or where to go for help.

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