When you’re a mom and you’re trying to do it all it can feel like the hardest thing ever. And sometimes — like when you’re dealing with a screaming toddler at the grocery store or you just cannot get your newborn baby to sleep for more than 15 minutes — like you’ve been thrown into the deep end of the pool … with hungry sharks … and no life jacket or noodle or pool ladder or lifeguard to help get you out.
Which is exactly why WE NEED EACH OTHER.
Because, as much as we may sometimes feel like we’re the only ones going through something or having that “OMG, why can’t I get my house/career/life together” feeling, we’re not. We’re all doing this thing to the best of our abilities in the best way we can that works for our unique circumstances and families. And although each family is a little different, we can definitely learn from each other. And take solace in knowing that we are not alone in feeling our lowest lows and highest highs — which can, funny enough, come in a matter of the same day or even the same hour with kids.
To this point, we interviewed a group of working and entrepreneurial moms about their experience trying to “do it all,” which as you’ll see below, ends up being more like “prioritizing it all.” Read on for their advice to live by. It might not only show you a new way to do something (or not do something), but it might also feel like you’re not the only one feeling the way you do. We know it did us. And feeling understood and heard and like you’re not the only one going through it all? Well, it may not solve all of our probs, but it sure feels good.
Give yourself permission to suck sometimes … laugh about it: Teddi Hernandez, co-founder and CEO of Solve KC
Find a few friends who love you unconditionally and who can relate and support you when you have a big fail (like forgetting to go to parent teacher conferences!). These little moments in time seem HUGE at the moment they are happening … they really aren’t. Find some quiet time each and every day — I truly believe that solitude keeps us balanced and able to take on whatever life hands us as working moms!
Outsource as many tasks as possible: Alyssa Rap, founder of Bottlenotes
House cleaning + house-related repairs and maintenance (Task Rabbit), some dinners (Blue Apron + Plated), and ALL grocery shopping (Instacart)! (Get more of her advice and tips here.)
Know that you’re amazing: Brooke Runnebaum, co-founder of sheKC lifestyle
You’re amazing! Being a working mom is so hard and really hard trying to find that balance. Don’t beat yourself up, you’re doing the best you can. HUGS!
Let your loved ones know that you always have time for them: Katrin Heuser, owner Affäre
Sit down and talk [to your children], even if it’s just a few minutes. Look at them, don’t be on your phone/ laptop when they come to you, even if it’s just a simple question. Take care of your close girlfriends — they are a safe haven. Make time with your husband, even if you just sneak out for a quick noodle soup.
Know what’s important to you: Aviva Ajmera co-founder, president and COO of Solve KC
It’s impossible to have it ALL, all the time. So you have to cherish what you can do when you can do it. And be at peace with that. If you are not at peace, you have too much on your plate. Also in the last six to eight years, I have really tried to minimize multitasking. It’s an awful habit and you never give anything 100 percent when you do that.
Do what’s right for your household: Jenny Matthews, co-founder of sheKC lifestyle and personality on Mix 93.3
Women either work because they have to or they want to and either reason is okay. One is not a better choice than the other. Each of us has to do what’s best for our household. At the end of the day, whether a stay-at-home mom (which IS work) or working out of the home, we women just need to support each other and help each other. It takes a village.
Like we said, advice to live by, moms! Permission to suck might have been my fave … —Jenn