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Learning From My Detox Disaster

detox-cons-585It seems like it was a lifetime ago that I first decided to give Dr. Oz’s detox without denial a spinaroo. I’ve since tried to block that dark period out of my life. While my team of gal pals had relatively pleasant experiences with the two-day cleanse, I felt like I had survived a short-lived hell and was glad I survived to tell the tale.

Crazy, but that was the first “diet” I’ve ever tried. I know that’s hard to believe, but growing up, I had that annoyingly fast metabolism that people assume is an urban legend. I always loved veggies growing up and never enjoyed candy, so I was pretty darn good. It saved me from a lot of hellacious pain.

My intentions for the cleanse were to get all the nasty toxic stuff out of my body…just poop it on out and start fresh and anew, but what I got instead was a jacked-up obsession with food for two days. Day two of the cleanse was terrible for me. I don’t like “food” and “control” in the same sentence. For me, I lost control for the first time and let food take over. All I could think about was what I couldn’t eat—I hated the food I had to eat so badly that I would literally tear up when it was time to shovel some of that porridge of pain down. I felt the grief and frustration I assume many women have had to go through when they start “diets.” They’re not going to get to eat foods they enjoy…They’ll feel starved all the time. It was a hot, hot mess and now, at 31 years young, I finally get why the D-word is a bad word in FBG circles.

That structure of a diet, the restrictions of a diet…well, they made me moody, emotional, crazy, mean and unbelievably sad, and I will NEVER be able to put myself through that crap again. I’m thankful the other gals didn’t experience what I did because I would have felt terrible for putting them through it, but that was one battle that left some scars on this FBG.

There’s oodles of information out there in the world about nutrition: what’s right, what’s wrong, what’s too much or too little. Well, it’s overwhelming as a mother-trucker, so I’ll just keep trying to make it as easy as possible by sticking to what has always worked for me: the mentality that you find what’s really good for your body and get as much of that good stuff in as possible. I’ll continue to listen to what my body needs (and I know works!) and shut out the quick fixes and over-promised results.

“Cleanse” is a new bad word for me. I guess we all just have to learn in our own, sometimes hard, way. I’m so very thankful I didn’t have to suffer for long to figure out that aha-moment!

Did you try a cleanse or diet and wonder what the heck you were thinking? Care to share your good, bad and how you escaped the ugly? —Tish

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  1. Oh no! Well, no you know never to do THAT again, right? I have tried one cleanse, the Clean program by Alejandro Junger. I liked it b/c I could eat a real meal once/day, but I found it, of course, WAY too restrictive in terms of what I could/couldn’t eat and it was VERY few calories, so I felt weird. That said, I stuck w/it and lost a few lbs. and reset myself so that I got off whatever junk I was eating (not much, but sugar is my weakness). I will likely never do it again – just not worth the trouble. Instead, I fill myself up w/whole foods – cook things I enjoy and that are super healthful and stay away from junk and processed stuff most of the time. Much more balanced!

  2. Pancake says:

    I felt the same way about WW points. I became ob-sessed!! It got to the point where I was constantly negotiating wih myself for a points worth of chocolate! It was insane and reallyyy unhealthy!

    The best ( and healthy) way I finally found to be able to eat cook and do whatever I want with food was to change my lifestyle to a plant based ( vegan) way of eating.

  3. FBG Tish says:

    I am so glad I’m not the only one who went nutters because of this kind of thing. I swear to hamburger helper I was hallucinating people as hamburgers and hot dogs like in the cartoons!

  4. I love this post – I have been saying for a long time that I think all detoxes are just not good. I have had many friends try a detox for the same reasons as you, cleansing the body, and all have had awful outcomes and after affects. I think simply adding in cleansing foods, that work to clean your colon, and other inside organs is a better way to achieve clean results. Glad you can share your experience here for others to see!

  5. Absolutely right! I’m a personal trainer, and I tell my clients to focus on sustainable lifestyle changes, in particular choosing whole foods. Diets and detoxes are by definition unsustainable (who’s ever heard of sticking with a diet for life?). If the majority of the foods you eat are healthy, whole foods, your system will cleanse itself over time…without any messy side effects. 😉 Thanks for sharing your experience! Love the blog!

  6. Melode Kang says:

    I came across your blog and really enjoyed your witty approach to improving women’s health. I think you would be a great fit for healthtap.com, which would allow you to provide your health knowledge to the masses.

  7. Tara says:

    Not all cleanses are created equal. Your body is naturally designed to detoxify itself. It doesn’t work when you are missing key nutrients in your diet. I have been using a cleansing system for over a year and have never been healthier. I do NOT starve myself. I put in the nutrients that are missing from our foods and help my body to do what it was designed to do. As healthy as a person may eat, the food itself is not the same as it was years ago. The soil is depleted of nutrients, not to mention the chemicals used on the crops themselves. Even “organic” foods aren’t what they used to be. Thousands of people are using the same system that I use and have had health issues resolved, along with weight loss and a gain of lean muscle.

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